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nemosengineer@yahoo.com
5th November 2007, 05:18
Living with depression can be a bitch as those of us who have it can attest. What has worked for me, as far as reducing or sometimes eliminating my symptoms, was finally getting off my medications, trying to eat right, vitamins every day, and walking for exercise.
Getting off my prescribed medication was the hardest thing to do, I took two weeks vacation and slept most of it away. The medication only masks the symptoms of depression and only postpones dealing with yourself and your life in my experience, I have been off medication for about three years now and my life is much better now because of it. I cant say enough about riding everyday, going to work is something to look forward to, as I get to ride my wonderful Sportster everyday.
I would like to thank everyone on the XL Forum as this place has been a bright light of friendship, information, and humor that I look forward to visiting everyday.
I believe that having depression is a disability, I also believe that talking about it can help. Perhaps others here on the XL Forum would like to share there thoughts and experiences dealing with depression.

Thank You: Mike :tour

shotgun46
5th November 2007, 05:40
I have medacation for it along with Bud light it seems to help at night ! Now I just wish I could sleep more than 4 hours at a time that would even be better !

el jinete fantasma
5th November 2007, 06:29
I hear ya. I've been off meds for about five years. Sometimes I consider getting back on them when the seasons change, which is when I get low, but haven't yet. My eating habits still suck, but I try to hit the gym 5 days a week. I've read that working out can have the same affect as most meds, so maybe that's what's doing the trick.
I wish you continued luck with your routine. The Sporty does help, doesn't it?

dagsportster
5th November 2007, 11:58
I can sympathize -- I recently lost my son who suffered from depression. It is a frustrating illness and only now is it being better recognized as just that. Many people confuse the effects of depression with the cause. They'll say -- "he was depressed because he wasn't doing well in school" or "she was depressed because of many failed relationships", when actually, it's the other way around -- "he wasn't doing well in school due to his depression" or "her many failed relationships were due to her chronic depression".

I'm not a big fan of meds, but there is some evidence to support a biochemical imbalance in the brain can lead to depression. That is the focus of many of the SSRI meds -- and I've been on them for a period of time myself. They don't make you numb or euphoric, but I found they do help even out your moods. Exercise is also a great stress reliever and anything that gets you releasing endorphins (riding, dancing, and the obvious) is a bonus, too.

Best of luck with your struggle.

Shai`tan
5th November 2007, 13:26
"biochemical imbalance in the brain can lead to depression."

Actually, I believe it is the opposite. Imho Depression, caused by many things.... if the Depression is inwardly focussed on too much by certain individuals, this can actually cause the chemical imbalance.

I believe we literally make ourselves cause the chemical imbalance. We make ourselves sick. We focus inward. Cut ourselves off from say... excerxising..... is a good example. Endorphins. Good you bring this up.

What do endorphins do? Create a sense of wellbeing. Laughing creates endorphins. Sex.... anything you do that you like to do, will actually stimlulate chemical endorphin creation.

When you are depressed tho, you cut yourself off from doing the things you like, effectively starving yourself. You harbor neg. feelings. You don`t eat right. You cut yourself off from communicating with others. No laughter, no fun, no excitement. This is I think what leads to the chemical imbalances.

Another example. Fear. Certain things effect you, and all of a sudden you feel that adrenaline rush = what we think is the feel of fear. All of our emotions have some kind of chemical effect on our bodies. I think Depression is somehow tied into this..... that it is as well a kind of emotion.

Doctors only really see the Depressed cases after they plummet. .... hit rock bottom and the damage has been done. I think if more peeps knew what to look for ahead of time, understood themselves better and the neg effects their own thoughts could have on them chemically/physically, they would be able to quicker recognise their own habits and take steps to turn the tide so to speak.

Terp84Alum
5th November 2007, 14:00
If it were that simple, there would be no depression.

RoadChick
5th November 2007, 14:40
What he ^^^^ said.


Depression runs in my family, on my mother's side and on my father's, and I have to disagree that the imbalance is self induced.

I have two brothers, one tried to end his life at 15 by shooting himself in the head, he lived. My other brother did end his life 6 months later, he was 16. He disappeared and we did not find his remains until 15 years later.

My mother has lived with bipolar her entire life and was just diagnosed 10 years ago. The meds have turned her life around.

donniej
5th November 2007, 15:12
My brother and me have fought with depression our entire lives. We had some tough times in our childhoods so I don't know if it's because of nature or growing up. I've tried medication, counseling and "self-medicating". None really helped.

I agree that a healthy diet, a little excersize and just trying to do things that make you happy make a big difference. Laying off the drugs and alcohol are important too.

If I could give someone with depression one piece of advice, it would be that help is out there. There are people that care.

cat5752
5th November 2007, 19:38
I live with the whole bipolar issue, and I can tell you it is not self-induced, at least not in my case. I wouldn't wish this crap on anyone. Medication turned my life completely around. I went from the point of squeezing the trigger on a loaded .45 that was in my mouth to coping and learning a whole lot about what I had previously defined as a "hard time". My mother suffered from depression her whole life. I don't know as it's genetic, but is a chemical imbalance. You can't drink it away, you can't sleep it away, you can't screw it away. Healthy eating and exercise are about the best. That and understanding friends that will bs with you at 2 o'clock in the morning when it's eating you alive.

pquirk
5th November 2007, 20:06
Advising people to get off antidepressants prescribed by their doctor is irresponsible and potentially lethal. :)

el jinete fantasma
5th November 2007, 20:17
"biochemical imbalance in the brain can lead to depression."

Actually, I believe it is the opposite. Imho Depression, caused by many things.... if the Depression is inwardly focussed on too much by certain individuals, this can actually cause the chemical imbalance.

I believe we literally make ourselves cause the chemical imbalance. We make ourselves sick. We focus inward. Cut ourselves off from say... excerxising..... is a good example. Endorphins. Good you bring this up.

What do endorphins do? Create a sense of wellbeing. Laughing creates endorphins. Sex.... anything you do that you like to do, will actually stimlulate chemical endorphin creation.

When you are depressed tho, you cut yourself off from doing the things you like, effectively starving yourself. You harbor neg. feelings. You don`t eat right. You cut yourself off from communicating with others. No laughter, no fun, no excitement. This is I think what leads to the chemical imbalances.

Another example. Fear. Certain things effect you, and all of a sudden you feel that adrenaline rush = what we think is the feel of fear. All of our emotions have some kind of chemical effect on our bodies. I think Depression is somehow tied into this..... that it is as well a kind of emotion.

Doctors only really see the Depressed cases after they plummet. .... hit rock bottom and the damage has been done. I think if more peeps knew what to look for ahead of time, understood themselves better and the neg effects their own thoughts could have on them chemically/physically, they would be able to quicker recognise their own habits and take steps to turn the tide so to speak.

Is this the long way of saying "get over it?" This is something I'd heard many a time from people who just didn't understand what depression is. It's not a bad mood/day. There isn't necessarily a trigger. For no discernible reason, you can find yourself in a downward spiral that you don't even realize. If you don't know what to look out for, you can suddenly find yourself wallowing in hopelessness. Medication doesn't work the same way on everyone. I can take a lot of experimentation and mixing & matching before a good balance is found.

Rock Bottom
5th November 2007, 20:22
Thanks to the meds I have stoped the self destructive ways in my life. When I got home from the Army, I spent 10 or 12 years trying to drink & drug myself to death. Almost doing it on a few occasions. My family begged me to see the VA for help. After a few years of trying different meds they found the ones that seem to work. It works most of the time.
Riding everyday is a big help too. clears the mind.

cgp-1200R
5th November 2007, 20:29
I have fought depression my whole life and between Effexor and running 5k a day, dropping 55 lbs , has made me a happy guy ;o)

sportyblue
5th November 2007, 21:32
"biochemical imbalance in the brain can lead to depression."




Doctors only really see the Depressed cases after they plummet. .... hit rock bottom and the damage has been done. I think if more peeps knew what to look for ahead of time, understood themselves better and the neg effects their own thoughts could have on them chemically/physically, they would be able to quicker recognise their own habits and take steps to turn the tide so to speak.


And for some turning the tide is medication management and for some counseling and for some self-help books.

Actually you have a very valid point here. IMHO behavioral modification is a very useful tool when trying to get a handle on things. If a person is aware of an on coming backspin.....is able to recognize the symptoms then yes they can take steps to head off a bad plummet into a very black hole. One of those steps to take could be medication management. I think when treating people who suffer from depression it is very important to provide an educational component to the whole treatment plan.......helping them to recognize and act before it gets real bad. The same goes for bi-polar.....symptoms of mania....symptoms of depression. Behavior modification goes a long way in people helping themselves to control their mental illness rather than it controlling them.

Other people who do not have a chemical imbalance but perhaps suffer from a situational occurrence seem to respond well to counseling and behavior modification......working through the issues.....changing the thought patterns. And yes they do start feeling better. Of course at this point you get into the symptoms of major depression verses some other form of depression that is less disabling.

Basically I believe depression can be with or without a chemical imbalance.
I do believe there is a genetic influence for major depression/bipolar each an affective disorder.

EDIT: I suffer from anxiety also an affective disorder. When a wave of anxiety comes over me all systems shut down........I can't even think straight....the best thing I can do for myself in that moment of time is switch gears..........stop what I am doing .......stop whatever triggered it .......and do something else which includes physically doing something else and mentally thinking or talking about something else. It will subside quicker if I follow those rules. And I have not had this my whole life.........it is a new thing over the past few years.

flathead45
5th November 2007, 21:47
not to long ago a good friend and amazing customizer went and ate a barrel. turns out that his doc changed his meds (reason unknown) and it set him off and he just had to end it

so even the so called pro's who are here to help can mess up and give ya the wrong stuff

that said, never give someone advice for something ya just don't know much about. can be a bad thing

el jinete fantasma
5th November 2007, 23:52
not to long ago a good friend and amazing customizer went and ate a barrel. turns out that his doc changed his meds (reason unknown) and it set him off and he just had to end it

so even the so called pro's who are here to help can mess up and give ya the wrong stuff

that said, never give someone advice for something ya just don't know much about. can be a bad thing

Unfortunately, there's no way to predict how someone is going to react to certain meds. I hopped on the crazy train after a certain combo didn't agree with me at one point.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend.

nemosengineer@yahoo.com
6th November 2007, 02:01
Advising people to get off antidepressants prescribed by their doctor is irresponsible and potentially lethal. :)

Please Note: I am not advising anyone to do ANYTHING... I am relating my experiences dealing with my own situation. Do not read anything into what I write that is not there, "What worked for me" means just that, it does not mean "You should do this"
Everyone who has dealt with depression for any length of time has waded through medications and counselors, feelings of self doubt and hopelessness, things that work and things that don't work, and wondered how and when everything will return to normal. My intent was to share my story and to be open about depression that I have been living with for 30 years, and to invite others to share there experiences in dealing with there situations, in the hope that we may all learn from each other.
If you have anything constructive to add to the conversation I will be more than happy to read it.

With Regards: Mike

Phaedrus
6th November 2007, 02:08
Mike, I'm sure it takes a lot of courage to talk openly about your illness.

If you had of said that you suffered from any other life threatning illness, this thread would have been flooded with condolances and support.

There is just not the same attitude toward mental illness with most folks.

Thanks for bringing up this discussion.

nemosengineer@yahoo.com
6th November 2007, 03:01
Mike, I'm sure it takes a lot of courage to talk openly about your illness.

If you had of said that you suffered from any other life threatning illness, this thread would have been flooded with condolances and support.

There is just not the same attitude toward mental illness with most folks.

Thanks for bringing up this discussion.

Unfortunately depression carries a stigma with it, and I understand this, I also feel the act of talking openly about depression will help someone who is not so brave to seek out help or at least to talk to someone about there situation, the worst way to deal with depression is to do nothing about it.
I have lost jobs, wifes, and homes to depression, my sister committed suicide due to depression, I have had to rebuild my life on three occasions due to depression
I know my nemesis well, I also know the stakes for me are high, life or death. I have to watch myself and my moods everyday. I attend meetings for depression every week, there are people who call me at all hours when their life takes a wrong turn, and I call others when life becomes to much to deal with. Depression is not something you deal with alone, I have to be proactive.
I do not think of my self as courageous for talking about my issues, I no longer try to hide my history as it is so much a part of me, my biggest wish is that I might inspire someone to feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel. Things in my life are running well at the moment.

Thank You For The Kind Words: Mike

pquirk
6th November 2007, 03:27
Please Note: I am not advising anyone to do ANYTHING... I am relating my experiences dealing with my own situation. Do not read anything into what I write that is not there, "What worked for me" means just that, it does not mean "You should do this"
Everyone who has dealt with depression for any length of time has waded through medications and counselors, feelings of self doubt and hopelessness, things that work and things that don't work, and wondered how and when everything will return to normal. My intent was to share my story and to be open about depression that I have been living with for 30 years, and to invite others to share there experiences in dealing with there situations, in the hope that we may all learn from each other.
If you have anything constructive to add to the conversation I will be more than happy to read it.

With Regards: Mike


Yes that's true, you did offer an opinion based on experience but you also said,
...The medication only masks the symptoms of depression and only postpones dealing with yourself and your life in my experience, I have been off medication for about three years now and my life is much better now because of it.

The mechanism of action of antidepressants in not fully understood so the first part of the quoted statement is pure Tom Cruise. That's the irresponsible part; you're stating opinion as fact. Further, I would argue based on the biochemical literature you're flat-out wrong, but that's beside the point. In addition, the chance of somebody thinking you actually have the expertise in medical neuropharmacology to support the claim is real and they might be desparate enough to take your opinion as advise even if you didn;t intend for them to do so. That's the potentially lethal part. So, I think that is pretty damn constructive input.

Best,
PQ :)

nemosengineer@yahoo.com
6th November 2007, 04:12
The mechanism of action of antidepressants in not fully understood so the first part of the quoted statement is pure Tom Cruise. That's the irresponsible part; you're stating opinion as fact. Further, I would argue based on the biochemical literature you're flat-out wrong, but that's beside the point. In addition, the chance of somebody thinking you actually have the expertise in medical neuropharmacology to support the claim is real and they might be desparate enough to take your opinion as advise even if you didn;t intend for them to do so. That's the potentially lethal part. So, I think that is pretty damn constructive input.

Best,
PQ :)

Context is important, as this is a motorcycle forum, I really don't think anyones first choice for medical advice will be here. But I could be wrong, so for the safety of anyone who might read any of my posts, on any subject, I offer this disclaimer,
"CAUTION: Nemosengineer A.K.A, Mike does not have any formal education or training in any medical field or endeavor. Anything written by Nemosengineer A.K.A, Mike may not be true, valid, or useful in any situation, anywhere, anytime, and in fact may be harmful or fatal if assumed to be factual. Anything written by Nemosengineer A.K.A, Mike, is presented for entertainment value only."
My apology's are offered to anyone who misunderstood my intent in sharing my experiences.

Best Wishes: Mike

phmann
6th November 2007, 04:44
I'm sure those of you that have gone to a psychiatrist have heard that medication is simply a tool for you to use in managing emotions that seem unmanagable. I tend to wonder if leaving all medication wasn't the root cause of feeling better, but that you found a better coping mechanism (excersize, positive thinking, etc.) for you as an individual. I wouldn't go telling others that the meds kept you down. I work with mentally ill adolescents in a residential treatment facility and have learned a good deal about the numerous mediciatons they are on including those such as the saratonin reuptake inhibitors that are commonly used to treat depression. I can say without a doubt that not all humans "cause" their brains to work a certain way, therefore "causing" depression. This might be the way one individual works, but not most people with mental health issues. That's a pretty old-school thought.

phmann
6th November 2007, 04:51
There is still a lot of stigma surrounding mental illness. There is an out-dated medical view that there is always something you can do to overcome the emotion you feel, mostly regarding depression. I can't speak for those who suffer from depression, and I am not a phychologist, but I see it all day, five days a week. There's a local radio personality who always pisses me off when he says there's no such thing as depression, "get off your ass".

sportyblue
6th November 2007, 05:02
Mike,

I do not believe your life of depression and what you have shared here with us is for entertainment.

I'd just like to add my .02 here. Yes, I agree with what PQ said, however, I have seen individuals who were very over medicated and felt exactly like you were feeling ( I think ) and in fact were on big gun neuroleptics ( ie haldol ) in addition to antidepressants and where the haldol was being used for the wrong reasons. I do not know which medications you were on but perhaps if you were on the big gun drugs you did feel like they were masking the symptoms rather than treating them. When on the big gun neuroleptics your whole affect is different and perhaps that is what you came to understand. It seems that controlling your depression without medication is working for you. You have come along ways, I'm sure, since the beginning of when you were able to recognize that you suffered from depression.

nemosengineer@yahoo.com
6th November 2007, 05:41
I'm sure those of you that have gone to a psychiatrist have heard that medication is simply a tool for you to use in managing emotions that seem unmanagable. I tend to wonder if leaving all medication wasn't the root cause of feeling better, but that you found a better coping mechanism (excersize, positive thinking, etc.) for you as an individual. I wouldn't go telling others that the meds kept you down. I work with mentally ill adolescents in a residential treatment facility and have learned a good deal about the numerous mediciatons they are on including those such as the saratonin reuptake inhibitors that are commonly used to treat depression. I can say without a doubt that not all humans "cause" their brains to work a certain way, therefore "causing" depression. This might be the way one individual works, but not most people with mental health issues. That's a pretty old-school thought.

Yes I did find a better coping mechanism for dealing with my depression, but how long does one stay on medication? There are side effects to antidepressants that are unpleasant. Are you taking antidepressants? A doctors advice and care in treating depression is important and not to be underestimated in value, I have been moderate to severely depressed all of my adult life and I still suffer from its effects. I am only stating my experiences, I have not said a word about others, I did not cause my depression, nor did I fix it, I live with it every day, so please don't say I am old-school in my thinking as I have only spoken of myself. So when does one go off medication ?

Best Wishes: Mike

nemosengineer@yahoo.com
6th November 2007, 05:49
Mike,

I do not believe your life of depression and what you have shared here with us is for entertainment.

I'd just like to add my .02 here. Yes, I agree with what PQ said, however, I have seen individuals who were very over medicated and felt exactly like you were feeling ( I think ) and in fact were on big gun neuroleptics ( ie haldol ) in addition to antidepressants and where the haldol was being used for the wrong reasons. I do not know which medications you were on but perhaps if you were on the big gun drugs you did feel like they were masking the symptoms rather than treating them. When on the big gun neuroleptics your whole affect is different and perhaps that is what you came to understand. It seems that controlling your depression without medication is working for you. You have come along ways, I'm sure, since the beginning of when you were able to recognize that you suffered from depression.

Thank you, you are very close to the mark. I still have a long way to go, now I can feel, laugh, and love, life is good.

Best Wishes: Mike

nemosengineer@yahoo.com
6th November 2007, 06:09
There is still a lot of stigma surrounding mental illness. There is an out-dated medical view that there is always something you can do to overcome the emotion you feel, mostly regarding depression. I can't speak for those who suffer from depression, and I am not a phychologist, but I see it all day, five days a week. There's a local radio personality who always pisses me off when he says there's no such thing as depression, "get off your ass".

Yes I have herd this also, I think there is a grain of truth to it, in that respect, I accept that I may be old-school. I had to decide that I was responsible for myself, the quality of my life, and fix what I didn't like about myself and accept what couldn't be changed. In the end all we can do is our best and accept the result. I think your a good guy, your doing good work with kids, it says a lot about you.

: Mike

AKsavage
6th November 2007, 07:31
When I was 15 I was diagnosed with severe unipolar depression. A few months later my girlfriend commited suicide, we were both seeing the same doctor at the time and both on drug therapy. For the last 20 years I have been fighting the good fight, sometimes winning sometimes not. As I don't like the side effects of the drugs I have chosen not to guinea pig for the doctors and found my own mechinisms for dealing with this. Exercise and good diet do help as does a good long ride on my sporty. For those of you fighting the good fight, best wishes. Keep your chin up, the sun will always come up tomorrow, and nothing worth having ever comes easy.

Gone
16th January 2008, 19:42
Reading this thread it is uplifting for me, because I realize I am not the only person with these problems. I have suffered from depression, anxiety, and o.c.d. as long as i can remember. it can be very lonely to deal with by yourself. I have the best wife in the world, she has put up with some crazy crap from me over the years due to my probs. However, even as great as she is
she doesnt and cant understand nor do I expect her to. To truley understand you have to live it. You have to walk that mile in the shoes with the problem. that is the reason I believe so many "doctors" miss the mark on diagnosing and treating these problems. I have been to every doctor within a hundred miles of here, and tried allllll kinds of meds. To no avail. I struggle everyday with it. I to have had to quit jobs because I couldnt do the job and the depression, anxiety and o.c.d. at the same time. Thanks for this thread, and thanks to all you guys for having the courage to talk about it. It helps to talk. "normal people" sometimes dont understand when you try to talk about your illness. Talking to others with the problem is one of the keys. Keep this thread going..It helps to TALK.

Gone
21st January 2008, 01:48
Living with depression can be a bitch as those of us who have it can attest. What has worked for me, as far as reducing or sometimes eliminating my symptoms, was finally getting off my medications, trying to eat right, vitamins every day, and walking for exercise.
Getting off my prescribed medication was the hardest thing to do, I took two weeks vacation and slept most of it away. The medication only masks the symptoms of depression and only postpones dealing with yourself and your life in my experience, I have been off medication for about three years now and my life is much better now because of it. I cant say enough about riding everyday, going to work is something to look forward to, as I get to ride my wonderful Sportster everyday.
I would like to thank everyone on the XL Forum as this place has been a bright light of friendship, information, and humor that I look forward to visiting everyday.
I believe that having depression is a disability, I also believe that talking about it can help. Perhaps others here on the XL Forum would like to share there thoughts and experiences dealing with depression.

Thank You: Mike :tour

Just stumbled across Mike's Thread. Depression is an acquaintance of mine. I've suffered with it for many years. I, like many others have had lots of Dr's, counselers, medicines and diagnosis. While I am not Bi-Polar, I do have PTSD thanks to SE Asia, Central and South America, West Africa and what ever else Uncle Sam can thow into my mix. Depression to me was and is a DEEP DARK HOLE that was d**n near impossible for me to dig myself out of. Mine went undiagnosed for some time and was almost fatal. Right now(several years now) I feel great. Exercise, good diet and riding my bike as much as I can, as well as extended trips has been therapeutic for me. May not work for anyone else but it works for me. :tour :smoke :banana

M-16pilot
10th February 2008, 04:11
I have been living with severe depression for quite a while. Didn't realize it till about 6 months ago. I have been on meds for about 2-3 years but for a phobia not depression. The meds are helping me at least by controlling my anger issues I have had for many years. I would fly off the handle at the littlest thing. My family has noticed it. I even notice it when I forget my meds, I can snap quick. unfortunately my target was my family. Thanks for the meds to keep me cool.
I believe that my sporty is a great anti-depression device. I can get out a ride and just forget everything and clear my head. Can't wait for warmer/no snowy road weather. so I can clear my head again.

Tim

Gone
10th February 2008, 17:59
What M-16Pilot said - best damn therapy that has no bad side effects if you ride with care.

David

j1200c
8th May 2011, 02:32
There are many times when my wife says, I think ya ought to go for a nice long ride! (sporty) Meds work well, but the bike has been therapy for the last 20 years. Much better since I bought the sportster. The "big twin" never got life in order for me. So be it! JC

worn
8th May 2011, 02:44
It's not just the depression that makes life hard, it's the anxiety that quite often accompanies it that's tough to deal with.

derailedbus
8th May 2011, 03:34
I've dealt with depression, anxiety and OCD for years. One doctor even diagnosed me as bi-polar. I've been to a number of doctors and have been on several meds, but Effexor was the only one that seemed to work, and only for about a year. Haven't been to a doctor or on meds for about 8 years now, mainly because I can't afford it. Now, I'm probably the poster child for the disease. I cry at the new drug commercials, as I'm sitting on my couch looking out the window at a beautiful sunny day that I can't even bring myself to go out to enjoy. I even make up excuses not to ride, knowing that I always feel a little bit better when I do. The only things that make me feel whole are my dogs. In the past few years I've managed to alienate every friend I've ever had and isolate myself completely. I drink daily and can't sleep at all if I don't. I've tried getting assistance, but due to budget cutbacks, the places I've talked to can't help until I'm ready to kill myself or someone else. At one time, I was an incredibly talented artist, and now it's just a constant war with the guilt of wasting that talent and all the opportunities I've had.

MacAttack
8th May 2011, 04:58
One thing I would like to point out is that the earlier SSRIs are off patent now and can be obtained much more cheaply. I know paroxetine is, don't know about Effexor. Also, Wal-Mart and Fred Meyer (and others, I am sure) have 3 month supplies for $30.

rjm13
8th May 2011, 14:31
i too have dealt with severe depression my entire life. i self medicated with alcohol...it made steady working and personal relationships impossible. it led to more isolation and basically would shut myself in for weeks and even months at a time doing nothing but getting drunk and playing world of warcraft....not the life i wanted. i could not get out to face the world. i was freelance construction and damn good at whatever i did, so a couple of calls and i could work to get rent, booze, raman noodles, smokes and whatever, and back to the cave i went.

i hit a wall..a crossroads a year and a half ago. enough i said...i bought a .45 and descided i was gonna shut that effer up...(my mind).

i absolutely did not know how to live anymore..i was completely lost and unable to do or accomplish anything...a total cripple.... but a quote from one of my favorite movies, shawshank redemption, came to mind..."get busy living, or get busy dying". i realized i never gave myself a chance to get well going it alone. so i found i guy i knew in AA and descided to really try at life before doing something irreversible.

well i found out real quick, just removing booze was not helping me. it wasnt until i started completely changing the way i think that i started to notice some improvements...i finally went to a doctor after nearly 20 years, my blood pressure was sky high, so he put me on lisinopril and celexa.

i gotta tell ya, im a new man. theres sooo many variables when it comes to the human body/brain. its kind of like my sporty. if ive got an intake leak, will just dumping more gas thru the bike really cure whats wrong? it may temporarily seem so, but other maybe unforseen problems will arise.

between removing alcohol, eating right, getting real sleep, the meds, i really started getting better...and every aspect in my life improved beyond what i thought possible. then comes my sportster....icing on the cake baby. its my pocket therapist....im in the moment...im free, with a shit-eating grin on my face.

i recently sold the .45 that i was gonna blow my brains out with and bought some parts for my bike. funny how life changes. if i can say or help anybody dealing with depression is dont give up...its not your fault. its an extremely serious condition that needs attention. depression is a condition that ultimately wants us dead....thats not how life should or needs to be.

RichardS
5th June 2011, 12:42
Just thought I'd bump this very valuable thread with a little tidbit I'd like to share. I too have suffered from depression, sometimes very serious depression and it is not a joke. This thread provides some incredibly valuable insight.

Just be careful who you share your issues with.....

Example......as most of have probably seen, there is a VERY hot thread on the forum right now about a site called hdtalking and in fact I "outed" a spy amongst your midst. But what I wanted to share HERE is that at one time I was a Mod there myself, but eventually couldn't take the behavior of the abusive nazi regime and left to start my own forum. But before any of that happened, I had shared, not knowing at that time what a sadistic nazi he was, my problems with depression over there.

Here's the screen I get now if I try to sign on:

http://i165.photobucket.com/albums/u59/CarlyCS/hdtalkingcom04102011screencapture.jpg

So anyway, what's serious to us, the people who suffer from depression and the people who actually care about us, can be a source of great amusement and an opportunity to amuse others if you share your problem with the wrong person.

Just something to think about. I don't see anybody HERE doing that but I wanted to show what can happen elsewhere if you aren't careful.

lucifer_mr2
14th June 2012, 14:01
A few groups in Australia are trying to do awareness campaigns about depression. Black dog, lifeline, etc. Not so much that it exists, but trying to get people more open about it. Football players are even getting involved.

Did a 100 mile ride with the black dog ride. 150+ bike in my local ride with stuff toy dogs (Winston) strapped to the bikes.

XL Ed
14th June 2012, 19:30
A timely bump to this thread. Just been diagnosed last night. Starting meds next week. Hopefully I can start enjoying the things I used to again.

lucifer_mr2
14th June 2012, 22:21
Good luck with the meds. Was on them for a bit, but stopped (pissed my doc off no end). Couldn't stand the way they made me feel.

Scorp_31
30th July 2012, 08:13
Guess the black dog rears its head even when your happy with things, Having issues today with the rebuild I am doing , unable to get past the blank in my head when I look at he motor to wonder what to do next.

Been thinking .. get rid of the bike and give it all up today but that isnt me really

Time left it alone for a bit I think . Sorry just a vent here I think,

Brookshire1200
14th August 2012, 15:41
This was an interesting thread to read. I kind of signed off to the world when I went back to school to get my masters. With school, divorce, and an unknown future I was diagnosed with depression. I felt that I was weak and a man was suppose to handle these situations. I was wrong, I took meds saw a counselor and things got better.

edddd
14th August 2012, 17:45
I was diagnosed with depression anxiety, but I would get angry when my depression flared and almost lost my wife. About 3 months ago, I stopped my meds, and still have a little bit of anger issues, but can deal with it now. I am also interested in sex again. For years, I didn't have any interest I it, my poor wife once thought I was cheating on her. Sorry if the topic is too risky, but meds really mess you up. Will I go back on my meds, a definite yes if I can't control myself, but for now, things are pretty good. But I also have a cousin who is bipolar, he needs his meds, so no real opinion here regarding if you should take meds or not, just my experiences,

XL Ed
15th August 2012, 23:26
Been a couple months now and I have to say it's been mostly better. Even just getting it out in the open seemed to help. The meds made me feel a little hazy but I persevered and the cloud cleared. I have an appointment with a shrink the first week in Sept. We will see where it goes from there

markfih54
16th August 2012, 02:36
Check out this book....."Feeling Good" by David Burns. Better than meds....!

XL Ed
16th August 2012, 02:49
I will look into it. Thanks

Teehaml
16th August 2012, 02:57
Just wondering how the OP, (http://xlforum.net/vbportal/forums/member.php?u=19180)nemosengineer@yahoo.com, is doing. He hasn't been here for 15 months...
(http://xlforum.net/vbportal/forums/member.php?u=19180)

sheep
4th March 2014, 20:01
I have depression from PTSD from lifeboat days , i also have MS & sight in 1 eye only , my meds work somewhat but although if anything they make me emotionally numb but anger is a problem im trying to deal with but even with my eye patch on when im on my xl883c i relax i think it's only time i am relaxed i feel for anyone who finds themselves in the world of depression , i was taught by our coxswain talking is weak & if you need counselling you don't belong , my advice to anyone is to talk & seek help folks :smoke
respect sheep

RandyMac
1st June 2015, 17:34
I have PTSD, I call it Acumulative Stress Syndrome.
It was active for over a decade before I recognized I had a problem. I've been off work and being treated since Feb 2014. It has been tough going, no part of my life has gone untouched. I am seeking balance, meds sort of work, I am currently using 4 different ones. Sometime this year I will do the withdrawal thing, again and see how it goes.
The Sportster helps, I enjoy riding in the air.

xl1200cl
2nd June 2015, 11:06
as a bipolar for 20-25 years there is only one thing i have learnt.

there is no way in hell i would sit down and recommend anyone to eighter take or not to take meds. i need my meds in periods. and some periods i realy dont need them. the only people that can have a opinion if you need meds or not is a spesialist.


we are all different (thank god, you dont want to be me ;) ) and i can not sit down and tell anyone that they need meds. unless they are totaly barking mad ;)

the only thing that we can do is share how to get trough the bad days in the best possible way.

here is my best tips if your interrested :)

in the worst days, always think that the better days are coming
be aware of your self and your mood. (keep a mood diary)
always have something to do in the bad days and slow down on the good days.
good day = ride hard. bad day = ride slow.
if you have a suicidal mind, seek help!

and hard drugs/alcohol never helps more then right there and then.

if you have a family keep them oriented on your mental status (mood diary)

im sorry for my crappy spelling but im not used to wrighting english any more.

and thanks for sharing everyone :xlrocks

Thomas
(i own the sporty thats parked outside the psychologist B-) )

farmall
27th April 2019, 19:37
I have chronic spine and neck pain so I've been exhausted for many years. I've tried SSRIs but don't care for them.

What does work for sleep (sleep deprivation is a major driver of depression and more) is cannabis. I can tell I'm getting old when I do out of necessity what I did for fun in my youth. I don't smoke during the day at all. I do fire up like a four stack destroyer at night before bed!

(Of course I've known the inventors of the anti-cannabis Prohibitionist movement in the US were the same religious fanatic lunatics who supported alcohol Prohibition. I read Harry Anslinger's BS propaganda as a kid before there was an internet. Anyone doubting this can study the sources straight from the liars who wrote them. )

Cannabis is why I've never needed an oxymorphone increase except once while awaiting an epidural steroid injection. I've turned down my excellent pain doc's offer of Fentanyl because I don't like the stuff. Oxymorphone works very well for me and lets me maintain a clear head. People should be less afraid of opiates but THINK and STUDY to learn if they are appropriate for THEM. There is no universal pain med, or universal opiate. I don't like oxycondone either.

Cannabis is why I get some sleep instead of being a zombie during the day.

Cannabis is why I'm not depressed by exhaustion. I've had poor/no sleep since late 2011! No sleep meds work, at all, and they have NASTY side effects. I've tried 'em all.

I don't live in a free state so I can't systematically compare modern breeds but those who have that advantage should consider it. Weed doesn't make you a "stoner" any more than drinking beer makes you a lush, and unlike booze weed never killed anyone I loved.