View Full Version : This one's fer Billy

5th December 2004, 21:20

1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. :eek:
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. :rolleyes:
3. You keep more beer than food in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. :laugh
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator. :D
6. You watch the Weather Channel. ;)
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up. :bump
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. :cry1
9. Jeans and a sweats no longer qualify as "dressed up." :frownthre
10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door. :yikes

5th December 2004, 21:35
11. your arms are to short to read books

12. you now have a "dunlup" (your belly dunluped over your belt)

13. you enjoy hearing your favorite song on the elevator

5th December 2004, 21:38
14. also called a dicki-do. (your belly sticks out further than your dicky-do)

5th December 2004, 22:08
15. A evening out with the Wife is going to the Grocery Store!! :yikes

5th December 2004, 22:12
14. also called a dicki-do. (your belly sticks out further than your dicky-do)

The ol' Dickey-Do disease .... Yup, I remember that one! :D :laugh :D

5th December 2004, 22:15
Wait till you find yourself asking if you can get the Senior Citizen discount!

Or when AARP starts sending you crap in the mail

5th December 2004, 22:39
Nope, only 37. Gotta few more years for that one. Was security for 2 1/2 yrs at work and just switched to the trades(sheet metal tech) so I should lose a few pounds now that I really have to work. Maybe I'll see my dicky-do in a little while :D .

6th December 2004, 11:58
Hey! Yaall been sneakin around my house, peekin in the windows, and watchin me! LucyMae! Call the cops!

Moved On
6th December 2004, 16:33
I must be middle aged... I hit exactly half of them. Gives me something to look forward to :frownone just never the 6am thing ;)


6th December 2004, 19:48
A few more for Billy, titled, "Ramblings of the Retired Mind"...

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.

I was thinking about old age and decided that it is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it'.

I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it "Pumping Rust."

I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!

I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?"
Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"

Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in case of an emergency.' I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do -- write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail? Or better yet, arrest them while they are taking their pictures!

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals. As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.

7th December 2004, 00:48
I might have to trade my Sporty, but I could still beat your ass if you ever try to cut me off at the intersection.

7th December 2004, 00:53
Here's what all you punk kids have got to look forward to!

7th December 2004, 01:28
Here's what all you punk kids have got to look forward to!

who you calling a kid? :eek:

7th December 2004, 02:13
who you calling a kid? :eek:

Anybody younger than you and me, WillPre! I can tell from your posts that we're both beyond puberty! However, I've gone and done a stupid thing, like tell everybody how really old I am. My wife threw a "Your 60" surprise birthday party for me November 24th. Me and the guys retired to the garage, cause that's where I keep a large supply of beer. A couple of old friends, who have never rode bikes, reminded me how dangerous it was to ride a motorcycle. WOW! That is some damn good information! I'm glad that I now know this! Yeah, and they also revealed that as we age, our reaction time is much slower, and that we are more vunerable to an accident. WOWIE WOW WOW! This was some really good stuff to know! They are all good non-motorsicklist friends and they mean well. By the time they got done with all the motorcycle advice, I was a shaken in my Harley boots.

7th December 2004, 08:41
They were prob passed out and you were jivin' with the birthday music! Don't try to con us...codger!

8th December 2004, 17:55
When you can send your kids to the store for beer!

8th December 2004, 19:09
when the cops tell you your kids are getting beer

25th November 2009, 02:11
I'm actually losing weight b/c I saw some high school classmates on Facebook, and was thankful I still had all my hair and basically looked the same but needed to shed a few pounds. With that said, knowing I'm not exactly a technology slouch, but seeing technology pass me by. I can't freaking keep up with it all!