My little off-topic section.
Kick in the teeth
Posted 25th November 2009 at 13:40 by Quebeker
Even when you see it coming, Death has a way of kicking you in the teeth.
My wife's best friend's Mom, Mary Ellen Meikle Roberts, just passed away.
My wife's best friend's Mom, Mary Ellen Meikle Roberts, just passed away.
Total Comments 5
Comments
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I'm an asshole.
I feel terribly sad for Nicole (my wife's best friend) and her sisters and brother.
I feel terrible and relief for her Mother who had been sick for a while.
But I also feel anger and fear.
Anger because I thought I was done hurting for the Death of my Mom but that phone call just brought everything back to the surface and now I'm being a selfish asshole, feeling like my Mom just died again.
Fear because every f@cking day that passes, I'm getting closer to my last. Or to my wife's. Or my daughter's.
I know it's inevitable.
I hate Death and I'm afraid of it.Posted 25th November 2009 at 14:31 by Quebeker 
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Death is the one thing we all share. I do not fear death for myself, only the ones I will leave behind. The living are the only ones who need to cope with death ... and it can be difficult. I am sorry for your loss, the loss of your mother. I lost my mother in 2001, then my father in 2005. It leaves a void, but you do have loved ones who can fill the emptiness and just focus on life with them and not so much on the losses.Posted 25th November 2009 at 15:15 by Baphomet
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I'm sorry to hear about your wife's best friend's mother and for that to trigger grief about your mother's passing. It is hard to process grief.
My bil was very scared of death........I should ask him....well..how'd it go...how are you....where are you...maybe it's more a fear of the unknown perhaps.Posted 27th November 2009 at 03:50 by sportyblue
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Like Baphomet, it's not that Im afraid of my death, although, I really dont like the idea of dying. But, ever since Melinda was pregnant with Eva-Mae, I became afraid of Death. I don't want to lose somebody else, I guess. And I know I'm being selfish.
And I know my Mom is OK.
It may be a long story, but what the Hell.
I dont remember my dreams. When I wake up, I can tell if I had a good or bad dream, but I dont remember the dream itself.
Except for 2.
I have been somewhat lucky so far, I lost only 2 people that I truly loved.
My Mother and my best friend and cousin Daniel.
Daniel had a booze and drug problem and got himself in a jam and killed himself.
I was young and didnt know how to deal with his death.
I was devastated.
Didnt go to the funeral, never talked to his parents about him again, still dont even know where his grave is. I just bottled up his Death and it is one of the reason (or excuse, depends how you look at it) I started going into the gutter too.
One day, he came over to my place, we played video games, had some pizza and drank a few beers. Then he got up from the couch and said he had to go, I go to the door of my apartment with him, and he hugged me, kissed me on the cheeks and told me he was OK, not to worry about him and he left.
Then I woke up crying but feeling so much relief.
Was he telling me he's OK or do I made myself believe he is? I pick option #1.
After my Mom's funeral, I went to bed and she came to tuck me in, even if I was close to 40 years old.
She kissed me on the forehead, walked to the bedroom door, told me she was feeling much better and turned off the light and then the door.
I woke up crying from that dream too and again believe in option #1.Posted 27th November 2009 at 05:27 by Quebeker
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OMG.....I can't believe you wrote that. The same exact thing happened to me with my grandfather. He came to me in a dream and asked how I was....I replied OK and asked how was he ...he said he was fine....dream over. I told my grandmother about this ......she said believe it....she had a very similar experience when her own mother passed on.
Option #1 all the way. Believe it. Who knows and I sure can't explain it but I definitely believe it. It was so wonderful hearing his voice. The last time I saw him he was not able to talk.Posted 28th November 2009 at 02:34 by sportyblue
