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father of a new born

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Posted 19th June 2010 at 12:03 by Quebeker

Hopefully I wont sound too much as a bad father.

I'm not saying it is different from how it was when Eva-Mae was born but it is different from the way it is with her now.

I would die or kill for both Eva-Mae and Lucas but there isn't a bond between Lucas and I like there is between Eva-Mae and me.

It's still only nature at this point, I understand that. But even if I can wash him, comfort him or feed him, (Melinda stopped breastfeeding him and we switched to formula), I can tell he doesn't give a damn about me yet.

I had forgot how emotionally hard it is to be the father of a new born. Nothing better to make a man feel useless once in a while.
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    DEEP DIVER's Avatar
    It's been 28 year's since I was a father to a new born,
    a girl who took years to bond with me!
    My son [the one in the middle] also took till he was around 9 months to bond with.
    All I can say Luke is look after all of them and he will start to bond with you.
    Posted 20th June 2010 at 12:32 by DEEP DIVER DEEP DIVER is offline
  2. Old Comment
    chardhin's Avatar
    I have a nine month old that doesnot like me for all the world, stick with it we will prevail.
    Posted 22nd June 2010 at 22:43 by chardhin chardhin is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Sportygrl's Avatar
    Try not to take it personally, and just keep being a good dad. I'm mom to a son who is 19, and a daughter who is 16. My relationship with my son, while always loving, has not always been easy. I used to feel guilty because it was so much easier with my daughter. Now that my son is a bit older, we have a very easy and close bond. Still different from my daughter, but close nonetheless. Kids are all different, as are parents. You'll be fine, just don't overthink it.
    Posted 30th June 2010 at 06:06 by Sportygrl Sportygrl is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Baphomet's Avatar
    As sportygrl said:
    Quote:
    You'll be fine, just don't overthink it.
    The important thing with multiple kids, especially when they are older, is to be fair with them all. Do that and relationships grow in the right direction. As for Lucas not liking you, the thing to remember is that it is not the act of liking but the way that liking is displayed that we notice. The baby likes you, of that you can be sure. Even infants have personalities and that is something for you to accept and not to be concerned with.

    I have seen and heard parents say that they treat all their kids equally. What fools!! You cannot do that. Individuals are different and respond to things differently. Some require punishment while another requires positive reinforcement. Just depends on the individual. Along those same lines, you cannot judge one according to the other ... and you certainly cannot expect the same bond between one to the other. Lucas will bond, but DIFFERENTLY. You are already bonded with him, just don't expect it to follow the same path or feel the same as you and your daughter.
    Posted 30th June 2010 at 07:35 by Baphomet Baphomet is offline
  5. Old Comment
    Quebeker's Avatar
    I'm not saying that he doesnt like me, just that at the time I wrote that, he was working only on instinct. He was breastfed so he only cared about the boob. And I did understand that was normal.

    Now, he's drinking formula so I feed him when I'm home and I can tell he looks at me differently. And I can now make him smile and laugh and that helps too.
    Posted 30th June 2010 at 12:30 by Quebeker Quebeker is offline
  6. Old Comment
    Quebeker's Avatar
    Well, today Lucas made feel a little special.

    I got home and nobody was home so I jumped in the shower.
    They got home as I was finishing, got dressed and went to the living room and found Lucas wide awake in his car seat as Mommy went back to the car and grab Eva-Mae who was sleeping.

    I leaned to talk to him and he just smiled at me.
    I didnt tickle him, he didnt need to fart. He just saw me, heard me and smiled at me.

    Like I said, I feel a little special right now.
    Posted 3rd July 2010 at 17:16 by Quebeker Quebeker is offline
 


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