Some thought I was dead. FOOLED YOU!!

[StraightShotSam]

I'm BACK! Been down a long time.

Since 2008 I have been living as a hermit and reading all the old and great books of wisdom so I can bring you all the best advice about life!

Well here I am AM!! Ask me any question and I will give you the best advice ever! But just remember....I'm a straight shooter. You might not like or agree with what I have to say but it is ALWAYS 100% correct!

Post your questions here = http://xlforum.net/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=80

So all you knuckleheads who can't find your way out a paper bag if you had a pocketknife I am here once again to help you get your stupid lives back in shape. Gosh toootin!! I can't believe some of you here are even still alive!! Especially Hippysmack, sportsterpaul, Graywolf, Crusty, fafcpa and extra especially ParrotHead!

Ok, here are the ground rules.

I will not answer new questions in someone else's thread. You must create your own thread.....lazy ass/

1. Everything I say is a Lie
2. If you think what I say isn't a lie, refer to rule number 1.
3. No dancing on Sundays
4. No honking your horn in a residential area.
5. No swearing in public places.
6. No whistling in church.
7. No public displays of affection.
8. No playing cards on public property.
9. No selling lemonade without a permit.
10. No dancing the Macarena after 2 AM.
11. No serious faces on Fridays.
12. If you didn't see it, it didn't happen.
13. No speaking to plants in a foreign language.
14. Every task requires at least one interpretive dance for clarity.
15. No farting in the elevator without prior written consent.
16. No pants allowed on "Casual Fridays."
17. No discussing weekend plans without speaking like a pirate.
18. All complaints must be submitted in the form of a haiku or dirty limerick.
19. All phone calls must be answered in an exaggerated foreign accent.
20. All arguments must be settled with a dance-off.
21. In the event of a spider sighting, scream for assistance.
22. Always carry a spare rubber chicken for emergency road-side repairs.
23. All stories about past rides must begin with, "This one time, on the open road..."
24. No motorcycle shall pass another without a friendly game of rock-paper-scissors.
25. No overtaking other riders without first asking, "May I pass, kind sir/madam?"

[StraightShotSam]

Oh yeah....anyone else can chime in with their own advice if they want to. It will be stupid and wrong advice but it's often good to see how stupid other people really are.

[Hippysmack]

Well, I thought I was having a heart attack, it was just gas from too much chili.
Sides, I can't go anywhere... I'm institutionalized.

Welcome back to the forum!

[rejeanprimeau]

The no picture ones, or it didn't happen.

[rejeanprimeau]

Number 21: is it a spider with eight legs or one made in Valcourt QC with three wheel?

[StraightShotSam]

Originally Posted by rejeanprimeau

Number 21: is it a spider with eight legs or one made in Valcourt QC with three wheel?

WOW!! You are really thick huh? The doctor should have slapped your mother when you were born.

It doesn't matter what kind of a spider! Screaming is always required! Your post doesn't even make one lick of sense.

And of course we don't mean the ones with three wheels! Not one dadgum scary thing about those contraptions or the sissys who drive them. Idiots trying to always wave at two-wheelers....sheeesh.

[rejeanprimeau]

Saquille O'Neill drive a Polaris Sling Shot; does he fill your Sissy's criteria?

[StraightShotSam]

Originally Posted by rejeanprimeau

Saquille O'Neill drive a Polaris Sling Shot; does he fill your Sissy's criteria?

I don't know who she is.

[rejeanprimeau]

He his a former basketball player that was 7 foot tall weighing about 300 pound. #34 for the Lakers #36 for the Celtics and #32 for other teams. Dr Shaw for his fans.

He's a boy boy, and will be mad to be called a sissy.