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Old 18th October 2021
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Default The Beat Wife

It wasn't even my beat. I was called in to cover for another guy who was out sick. Someone else's beat. In a not so charming part of town, where you can buy street drugs, and street sex. Dive bars, hipsters with craft ice cream shops, pawn shops, and illegal immigrants selling illegal food on the sidewalk. In the midst of of the mixture of working class immigrants with 2 jobs, and gentrification, was a Pork Store restaurant.

That's how we met. She was a beertender. Standing in front of the bar, with a cigarette. She was not, by all appearances, someone who would be a member of The Junior League. Streaks of burgundy ran through her raven black hair, which was in pigtails like an anime character. Piercings in her nose and navel allude to other unseen piercings. A see-through fishnet top, revealing her bra, and matching fishnet gloves like Madonna from The 80's. 80's Guess jeans with little zippers at the back of the ankles. Converse sneakers.

I pulled into the service alley the wrong way, then pulled up on the sidewalk. I jaywalked across the street to get some pork. I decided to eat it in the bar's parklet, as they had bar height counters so that I could eat standing.

"Are you new? I haven't seen you around."

No. Well, yes. Well, no. I'm not new. But this isn't my regular assignment. I do something else. Just covering because they're short handed. I probably won't be back, either. Unless they get short handed again, and my name gets pulled out of a hat again.

"Well, if you're on the swing shift, come back after your shift for a drink."

I just started. I'm on the midnight shift. Sorry lady. By the time I get off, the sun will be up.

"Then come for breakfast. Just ring the bell at the door by where your bike is. I live upstairs."

Those words lingered in my mind. Was she on speed? Who closed a bar at 3 AM, then stays up until the sun rises? This neighborhood doesn't have breakfast spots. Was she going to invite me in and cook? Or was she going to share a needle with me, like junkies, in a back alley behind a bar?

At 7 AM, I'm off. I asked around. None of the other guys at The Company knew much about that bar. Like most of the bars in that area, they tend to settle their own pay disputes and deal with their own unruly patrons and unwanted guests.

As I was already headed in that direction towards the freeway ramp, curiosity forced me to take a left turn back towards that tavern. She was out front, still dressed like Madonna, hosing off the sidewalk. I park in the same spot, next to the door in the alleyway. It was open as the hose was connected to a spigot by the back door, and I could see that it led into the bar, and there was a flight of stairs.

"Grab anything you want from behind the bar, go upstairs, and get comfortable. I'll be up in a second."
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Old 18th October 2021
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Well ya got a knack for writing........................................... ....................
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Old 18th October 2021
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So, what's the rest of the story? As Paul Harvey would say.
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Old 18th October 2021
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Good day….
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Old 19th October 2021
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Default

I'll leave you guys to fill in the blanks. What was on the menu? A full English breakfast? A bowl of oatmeal? Vietnamese Pho? Were the eggs runny? Was it just a box of Lucky Charms, no milk?

I don't want to indulge in affirming your pornographic fantasies. Dd I spank her? Did she tie me up? Did she have a penis? Was it bigger than mine? Was it bigger than yours? Was there another piercing under her panties? Did she wear panties? Do I need mouthwash? Did she do the dirty deed? Was it just like 9 1/2 Weeks(1986)? Or more like Body Heat (1981)?

She had exotic features. A British accent. She was raised in London. Her parents were from Bangladesh. They had a pub, and lived upstairs. Just like she does now. She practically grew up in a bar.

I remarked that it could have been worse. Her parents could have stayed in Bangladesh, and she could have been raised in a whorehouse. By the way, how come you don't have a red dot on your head?

She slapped me. Slapped me hard.

"Don't you belittle my people. Do you make a habit of insulting a girl's ancestors, after you use her arse for sex?"

What? I was just asking, is all.

"You haven't even asked me my name. You didn't need to know my name, before you donated sperm into me. Now out of your mouth comes something so culturally insensitive? What is wrong with you? What were you thinking?"

What was I thinking? Van Halen was a better band with Diamond Dave. The RedHead Tequila Vendor was better as a solo artist. And The Jets. Whenever the brothers and sisters stop filing lawsuits and countersuits against each other, they need to reunite with Gene Hunt, aka Eugene Wolfgramm. Oh, yeah, by the way - you got any chicken?

"Chicken?" Whack.

This time it was her left hand. Now both of my cheeks are stinging. I was afraid to ask if her people were offended by people who eat chicken. I don't know. In some parts of the world, they worship a cow. So I asked anyway. Is a chicken Holy like a cow? Are you not suppose to eat it? Are you mad because I took the condom off?
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