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Old 21st October 2021
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Default The One Who Likes Pineapple

In some big cities, they have a criminal justice building. Police, Sheriff, District Attorney, City Marshall, 911 Call Center, Criminal Courts, Traffic Courts, Parking Violations, Tow Desk, Jails. A 24 hour building, as crime doesn't sleep. There's usually a cafeteria. And often, that kitchen is staffed by jail inmates. So 24 hours a day, you can pay to eat jail food.

In modern facilities, they incorporate staffing the cafeteria into the jail's vocational program. A brand name coffee chain will install all of their equipment, then provide training to the inmates. You can get a mocha frappuccino and caramel macchiato at 5:30 AM; if you were arrested the night before and they are releasing you from jail just before they have to feed you breakfast. Starbucks gets all sorts of tax credits, write-offs, free publicity for helping rehabilitate criminals, and baristas ready to work for them as soon as they are released.

On the midnight shift, The Hall of Justice is like a high school cafeteria. There are cliques, and never do they mix or mingle. The brass at their table. Non-sworn civilian employees have their own table. Coroners people off in the corner. People in street clothes are usually there because they don't want to be. Their car got towed. Their daughter's in jail and needs to be bailed out. Some other unpleasant business where you get called to the police station in the middle of the night.

A lot of the staff either bring their own lunch, or get food delivered. Eating the jail kitchen food, and paying money to eat it, is not that appealing. There are also vending machines selling candy bars, chips, instant noodles......same stuff they sell to the inmates.

I'm combing through a stack of newspapers that other people have left behind. Fighting off sleep. I won't get to go to bed until after the sun comes up. I'm not really hungry. So I got a couple of Cup o'Noodles from the machine. I take one of the cups, and offer it to the inmate behind the cafeteria counter. That buys me a raw egg. The inmate is a 6'5" transexual prostitute serving 300 days for a probation violation. It's probably his 10th probation violation. They caught him selling himself on the streets-again. It's a revolving door. Put a hooker on probation. Of course they violate. They're hookers.

I crack the raw egg into the cup of instant noodles, and pour in some hot water from the valve next to the coffee machine.

Street hooker food. In those neighborhoods where hookers ply their trade, the 24 hour donut shops will sell instant noodles. A real treat if you have to be in a see through outfit and high heels, freezing on the corner for hours on end. If you're ever in a bad neighborhood, with a 24 hour donut shop, that sells instant noodles - chances are good that hookers work that area at night.

"What do we have here? A hooker's midnight snack. Did your ex move back in, and now she's packing your lunch?"

Pale Amy. I call her that because she has worked in the morgue for the past 12 years. Ever since graduating from med school, she's been a medical examiner. All on the night shift. Her skin only sees fluorescent light. She has the same pallor as her patients. Most of her time is spent around naked, dead people. Her behavior and mannerisms reflect that.

We have coitus when she desires. It happens just like this. She finds me on my lunch break, and asks if I can give her a ride home after work. We're not "dating". We don't go out on "dates". We're not even really "friends". I'm pretty sure that she just dreads the thought of how I would present in her social circle. Much the same way I don't know how my friends would react to "Dr. Death".

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