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View Poll Results: IS IT POSSIBLE TO BE "IN LOVE" WITH TWO PEOPLE AT THE SAME TIME?
YES 184 74.80%
NO 62 25.20%
Voters: 246. You may not vote on this poll

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  #21  
Old 6th February 2008
Moved On / My Own Choice Moved On / My Own Choice is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by celtic View Post
but that's from YOUR experience.

perhaps other people are capable of other feelings or ideas.


i only own ONE motorcycle right now, and i am in love and lust with it...

but i hope someday to be able to give equal love and lust to other bikes.
I didn't say that I was certain it applied to others, though I do suspect it does from my own observations and experience.

OF COURSE people are capable of other feelings, but I'd be genuinely suprised if someone can AT THE SAME TIME truly be IN LOVE WITH two people.

TO ME, that's very different from being in love with one and lust with the other (something that I've seen far too many examples of).

You CAN love many, many people, but MY very definition of being IN LOVE seems to preclude the possibility of others.

As for motorcycles, maybe not the best example, but I"ll say this, I become obsessed by ONE at a time. I love having the variety of bikes in my garage that I do, but when I feel like riding one, I've never been sad that I'm NOT riding one of the others at the same time.
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  #22  
Old 6th February 2008
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I understand your definition Kev. I just do not beleive in limiting LOVING someone.

I love my wife and I could not see me loving anyone the way I love her. She is my best friend, my lover, and my life mate. I don't know if I could ever love another person the way I love her.

But that does not mean that another person could not love more than one person with as much caring and passion as I love my wife. If there is someone out there in the world who could, I am am sure there is, then I think it would be great. What better thing could you receive then being truly loved by two or more people and able to give them back that same level of love in return. What is wrong or evil about that?
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  #23  
Old 6th February 2008
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Originally Posted by celtic View Post
but in all seriousness -

i can recall a time when i was sort of dating a couple of girls at once...and i DID pick one...but perhaps if our society wasn't puritanical and closeminded and i didn't learn that there is only ONE WAY for people to live their lives (the good old American Christian way) perhaps i wouldn't HAVE to pick...

know what i'm saying?

i think humans are capable of FAR MORE things that we are currently 'allowed' to do by societal restraints.
I already said that I'm not a huge believer in some of the societal and religious pressures with which we live. Certainly I don't live my life by some of the uh, same, artificial barriers our society seems to put up.

I'm not judging someone for wanting to do something different.

I'm simply saying that by definition I CANNOT, and I suspect that many other people are wired like me in that way.

Jenn and I watch Big Love on HBO and I think they've done an good job of posing questions with the show (as well as their usual job of good entertainment).

There are potentially many benefits to a polygamous relationship for those involved, regarding shared responsibilities.

But even in day-to-day marriage with ONE woman, I think lots of people have trouble STAYING IN LOVE.

Again, it's easy to LOVE someone, but to be IN LOVE takes something more I think.
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  #24  
Old 6th February 2008
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Default Sure. Why not?

People love their mates, parents, kids, and close friends. I doubt anyone would say they are "in love" with the parents, kids, or friends though. So I'd have to say being "in love" does include lust or sexual appetite. And I see no reason why someone could not be "in love" with more than one person. I've been "in love" with two girls at once back in college and high school when there were many many more girls I had a chance to interact with on a day to day basis.
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  #25  
Old 6th February 2008
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Originally Posted by bplinson View Post
I understand your definition Kev. I just do not beleive in limiting LOVING someone.

I love my wife and I could not see me loving anyone the way I love her. She is my best friend, my lover, and my life mate. I don't know if I could ever love another person the way I love her.

But that does not mean that another person could not love more than one person with as much caring and passion as I love my wife. If there is someone out there in the world who could, I am am sure there is, then I think it would be great. What better thing could you receive then being truly loved by two or more people and able to give them back that same level of love in return. What is wrong or evil about that?

I'm not preaching that anything is wrong or evil.

But I still don't believe you do understand (even if you don't agree with) my definition.

It's like saying can 4 = 4 and 4 = 5? No the very defintion of 4 prevents it.

MY personal definition of being IN LOVE pretty much does the same thing, cause I'm not WIRED to be obssessed with, in lust with, to have a constant desire to be with more than one woman at a time.

I'm not saying that it would be wrong or evil for someone to be (maybe a little bi-polar or ADDish, but not wrong or evil).

But that's still different than the self-lessness definition that I place on LOVE. To give and get back love is something different from being IN LOVE (again FOR ME).

I suspect that a lot of people blur the lines of those definitions and if they do, that would instantly change the answer to this poll.
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  #26  
Old 6th February 2008
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Of course it's gotta be possible, otherwise "Torn Between Two Lovers" wouldn't have been such a big hit in the 70s!

Seriously, I don't know if it is possible, but I know it's not possible for me. I'm an all-or-nothing kinda guy.
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  #27  
Old 6th February 2008
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People love their mates, parents, kids, and close friends. I doubt anyone would say they are "in love" with the parents, kids, or friends though. So I'd have to say being "in love" does include lust or sexual appetite. And I see no reason why someone could not be "in love" with more than one person. I've been "in love" with two girls at once back in college and high school when there were many many more girls I had a chance to interact with on a day to day basis.
So to you would "in love" be purely lust or does it include a factor of that same love for mates, parents, kids etc also?
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Old 6th February 2008
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Originally Posted by Kev M View Post
Again, it's easy to LOVE someone, but to be IN LOVE takes something more I think.
*2

I couldn't agree more.
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  #29  
Old 6th February 2008
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Being "In Love" is a one at a time thing. Calling it like I see it.
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  #30  
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Originally Posted by Kev M View Post
So to you would "in love" be purely lust or does it include a factor of that same love for mates, parents, kids etc also?
"In love" to me is how I feel about my wife most days. I care for her deeply always, and lust after her frequently. And if we grew apart, and stopped being "in love", I would still "love" her. But I would no longer be "in love" with her.

I am not "in love" with my parents or friends but I do care for them deeply and would do most anything for them. But I would jump in front of a bullet for my wife.

Sheesh! Too many quotes in this post.
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