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  #1  
Old 17th September 2021
Fifty150's Avatar
Fifty150 Fifty150 is offline
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Default The One With The Goose Bumps

I'm at The Bar. Sitting outdoors. It's cold. There are a couple of girls, dressed as girls usually dress. Revealing outfits. It's cold. They're shivering. Even the alcohol isn't helping. I'm layered under a leather jacket. Dressed for riding in the cold. I offer my jacket to one, and my hoodie to the other one. No worries. I'm still wearing a wool Pendleton.

I ask them to go inside to get warm. One girl rolls her eyes in the direction of the other girl. Girl number two can't go in. No Covid vaccine. So her friend, ever loyal, is sitting outside and freezing with her. Now they have to buy me a drink or three.

Like on The Dating Game, I focused my attention on bachelorette #2. Purely physical. I liked her eyes. She had both. No eye patch. No glass eye. We chit chat. She likes sunsets, ice cream, puppy dogs, and long walks on the beach. In her spare time, she enjoys music and likes to dance. She was born when George Bush was in office. The son, not the father. I'm old enough to be her father. I fought for truth, liberty, justice, freedom, the American way of life. I got injured during The War.

I ask girl number two why she hasn't gone for a shot. She says, "I'm still doing my own research." I wonder how that's happening. I blurt out, "you built your own lab, and got 40,000 volunteers?"

Confused look on her face. Sort of like Scooby Doo.

"Or are you just following your favorite celebrities, and reading stuff online written by people who are also not doctors and scientist involved in an actual drug trial?"

She says, "Well, I don't know, I just don't know. You hear all these people saying all these bad things about it."

Her friend decided to take advantage of the situation, by returning my jacket and going inside to get warm. She says, "see, she is suppose to be my best friend, and even she is pressuring me about this......everyone just runs away because they think I'll cough on them and kill them."

I'm vaccinated. It's outdoors. I'll wear a mask and a condom. I tell her I'll let her wear my jacket, as long as she keeps buying drinks for me. I told her to forget about what everyone else says. She should be making medical decisions with her doctor.

As it turns out, her doctor did advise her to get vaccinated. But social media influencers and celebrities are right there on her phone, and they are saying other things.

Then she ask what I think. I told her that just like Nicki Minaj's imaginary cousin's imaginary friend, I'm impotent and my testicals are swollen.

She did a spit-take. Like in the movies. Now I've got a face full of her cocktail. And I think the margarita salt is burning my contact lens.
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  #2  
Old 17th September 2021
bill smith bill smith is offline
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It's fun to watch modern people react to the way we older people talk ain't it? So, did you bone her or what?
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  #3  
Old 17th September 2021
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bill smith View Post
It's fun to watch modern people react to the way we older people talk ain't it? So, did you bone her or what?
Now that's a realist.
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  #4  
Old 18th September 2021
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Default

Bachelorette #1 left early. She decided that Bachelorette #2 was safe in my company. As I look completely nonthreatening.

When the bar closed, she asked me to take her home.

"Nope. Take a bus."

I have a solo saddle. Only way for her to ride with me, is like a little kid sitting on my shoulders. With my head between her legs.
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