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Red5
2nd May 2011, 14:14
I'm in my early 40s and have just become single again after being with X for 15 years. :tour

The past couple of weeks have been very interesting. I've gone out with three girls and have had a lot of fun. I guess now would be agood time to say that I have no game. I feel like an amature in the dating world. With that out of the way lets move on to where I need some help.

One of these girls has gone out with me three times. Let's call her girl #1. She is good looking, and I think she likes riding and boating. But she has been pressing me to remove myself from the market. I told her that I've only been single for two weeks and that she doesn't want me to do this. whatever... Getting off track here.

I have a corporate connection and have SCORED two totally great tickets to both the Kentucky Derby AND the Oaks horse races. These are full servie, food, drinks, dress up and so on.

Being an amature as soon as I got them I wa like whooooo hoo. And I told her. And I sort of invited her to BOTH races. And she is very excited to go.

Over the weekend I met another VERY hot girl. This girl is dumber than a box of rocks, but she is HOT. And she would love to go to either of these events.

Do I see a future with dumb hot girl? Not really. But the present is looking good.:banadanc

So here is my predicament. I have tickets for both days. I did ask girl #1 first. But did so under durress.:censor I don't want to upset her.

But I would really like to take #2 to the Oaks race and #1 to the derby.

Is it possible to do this without pissing off #1? Give me some feedback. I'm at a loss.

Hecklerboy
2nd May 2011, 14:22
No matter what you do you will piss one of the ladies off.
Make it very clear that you are dating different people and are not committed to anyone.
Then take #1 to the derby and #2 to the Oaks.

If they are mature they will understand that you just got out of a relationship and don't want to be in another one just yet.

Besides, you are going through the rebound stage right now so I would be suprised if either one of these relationships last very long.

Have fun and enjoy dating for a while.

Just make sure you're up front with the ladies about your intentions.

Red5
2nd May 2011, 14:25
No matter what you do you will piss one of the ladies off.
Make it very clear that you are dating different people and are not committed to anyone.
Then take #1 to the derby and #2 to the Oaks.

If they are mature they will understand that you just got out of a relationship and don't want to be in another one just yet.

Besides, you are going through the rebound stage right now so I would be suprised if either one of these relationships last very long.

Have fun and enjoy dating for a while.

Just make sure you're up front with the ladies about your intentions.



Good advise. Guess I should also add that I am not good at lieing. Matter of fact I'm terrible at it. I like the straight forward approach.

Flame__
2nd May 2011, 14:33
HAHAHAHAHAHA!! OMG! I mean, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Dude, you are SOOOO screwed! As I see it, there are only three ways to make this happen. One-- you lie your ass off and take the dumb one, praying that you don't get busted. Two---- you are totally honest and take the dumb hottie, praying that the better catch doesn't bust your balls or just plain bust up with you ( which could also happen with #1), 3---- you pray for something to happen that will make girl #1 decide that she can't or doesn't want to, go to the event. There may be a 4th solution, but it involves making a decision with the head that has a brain.

Red5
2nd May 2011, 14:43
HAHAHAHAHAHA!! OMG! I mean, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Dude, you are SOOOO screwed! As I see it, there are only three ways to make this happen. One-- you lie your ass off and take the dumb one, praying that you don't get busted. Two---- you are totally honest and take the dumb hottie, praying that the better catch doesn't bust your balls or just plain bust up with you ( which could also happen with #1), 3---- you pray for something to happen that will make girl #1 decide that she can't or doesn't want to, go to the event. There may be a 4th solution, but it involves making a decision with the head that has a brain.

These are two seperate events.

So what if I told girl #1 that I'm excited about taking her to Derby but I may have over stepped my bounderies by asking her to both events. And that I like her but am concerned that we are going too fast for out own good. And that I'd feel more comfortable takin gher to Derrrby and not to both. (?) Think that would work?

I don't have to mention super hot girl at all.:p

Flame__
2nd May 2011, 14:51
Plausible deniability. Hmmm, might work. Be honest that you aren't ready for a commitment of any kind, limit your contact with her. Keep it on a need to know. Go with that.

Terp84Alum
2nd May 2011, 15:02
If you're willing to let #1 just walk away from the relationship, do whatever you want. Either you want a relationship (similar to what she wants) or you don't. You're thinking with your dick. Think with your brain. At your age, you should be past that.

Flame__
2nd May 2011, 15:08
Gimme some rep before this goes south and then you can't take it back.

scotthotrod
2nd May 2011, 15:22
Do u really want to jump right back in? Take a break and look around. Tell her u just want to date and see where it gos and kept an open mine. :smoke

KevinJ
2nd May 2011, 15:22
If you're willing to let #1 just walk away from the relationship, do whatever you want. Either you want a relationship (similar to what she wants) or you don't. You're thinking with your dick. Think with your brain. At your age, you should be past that.

+1

Honesty is something all women appreciate. But remember you can be honest and a jerk at the same time.
I guess we all know why you want to take the "dumb" girl to one of the events. If she really is super hot and dumber than a box of rocks, half the city propably took her to an event already.
I wouldn't want to be seen with someone like that.

redi2ride
2nd May 2011, 15:46
Dude you need to get your sea legs back before you start fishing... It's time to work out that independent muscle and quit being so co-dependent on a womans company. Become secure and comfortable with being solo before you play with the ladies for real or they will take advantage of your co-dependent nature and control you. When you are ready these situations won't be a problem. Because you will have them chasing you. not the other way around.

Red5
2nd May 2011, 15:55
I've been very fortunate since becomming single. Its as if the rules have changed. Apparantly being in my 40's, employed, not too bad looking , educated and Not gay are good things to be. :)

Bad news. And you all will love this one. My mother just called me. No, I'm not amomas boy, and this really cracks me up. I told my brother about my issue and he must have told his wife who then talked to my Mom. I'm crac king up typing this.

Anyway- I'm taking girl #1 to both. Or I face dis-ownment from my mother. lol

And ev en worse, now I have to take her shopping to find the perfect suit for Derby. Jez man... Like I freaking deserve this crap. Oh well. it will be fun. And to be honest with you I did invite girl #1 to both and I guess I should stick to it. She did go out and buy a special dress. And I will be at a corporate deal. These are current and future customers of mine. it would behoove me to show up with an attractive lady that has class and blends. Someone who speaks in complete sentances and doesn't smell like her date from the night before.

So i guess this problem has been solved.

Thanks for playing. :cool:

gdixon61
2nd May 2011, 16:04
omg lmao, you are so screwed, but it's not all bad.
Like you i found myself single and have learned there are NO rules like we grew up with. Maybe we can get a clue eventually but mean while have fun and stay with your convictions and integrity!
Do not let her move a relationship faster than your willing to go even if it means losing her. If she can't or won't understand then it just isn't meant to be at this time.

Red5
2nd May 2011, 16:13
omg lmao, you are so screwed, but it's not all bad.
Like you i found myself single and have learned there are NO rules like we grew up with. Maybe we can get a clue eventually but mean while have fun and stay with your convictions and integrity!
Do not let her move a relationship faster than your willing to go even if it means losing her. If she can't or won't understand then it just isn't meant to be at this time.

The rules have changed. I thought I was going to have to go a long time before finding a good date. Boy was I wrong.:p This is fun.

It's as if the tables have turned. When I was single guys chased girls. it's all I thought about. And you had to bend over backwards to land a good one.

But now girls ask us out. Guess I'm a bit old fashioned but I still pay for everything and I still open doors and stuff like that. But I'm loving the fact that a girl can find me and ask me out.

Glad I decided to go with my original decision. I think integrity is a good thing. And even if things don't last long between us she won't be able to say that I was rude.

I'm looking forward to this week.:D

redi2ride
2nd May 2011, 16:30
watch Hitch w/will smith. it will make you laugh.

sportymike02
2nd May 2011, 16:42
If you're willing to let #1 just walk away from the relationship, do whatever you want. Either you want a relationship (similar to what she wants) or you don't. You're thinking with your dick. Think with your brain. At your age, you should be past that.

odds are that neither one of these is going to last, rebound effect here. and as far as his age goes, early 40's - 15 yrs with the x = late 20's. dude - GO FOR IT!!

Hecklerboy
2nd May 2011, 16:49
Apparantly being in my 40's, employed, not too bad looking , educated and Not gay are good things to be. :)


I found this out when I got divorced at 38. Man, single 40 year old women were coming out of the woodwork. If you have a good job and like women then watchout they are everywhere. Are there that many jerks in the world or is there that much of a shortage of men? Of course most of the men in my area drink so much beer they look pregnant.:p

The cool part is that 40 year old women are hot and are over the whole kid thing.
My friend that is in his early 30's all the girls his age want to get married and have a baby ASAP.

Bombn
2nd May 2011, 17:04
So where are you meeting all these hotties?

No Game? 2 hotties in a couple of weeks? pleasssse.... Sounds like you got more game than you know :urock

Loner
2nd May 2011, 17:20
1. don't play games, be honest if you make a promise or commitment keep it.
Women are very social and they all know each other one way or another and believe me the word does get around if you do something wrong (trust me on that)

2. Your off the leash so to speak, and are probably thinking with your other head if you get my meaning. take it a step at a time

3. Dating is like finance, don't commit to what you can't afford and don't over extend yourself

4. After 40 stop messing with girls it time to step up and go out with real women.
(although the occasional "girl" is not a bad thing)

5. Watch out for women who have a lot of baggage or one's that refer to thier ex's alot.

xHDrider
2nd May 2011, 17:25
if you found a nice girl (#1) and dump her for a better looking body,(#2) you don't deserve her.(#1) do her a favor and stay out of her life.

I don't think a person should date a person he would not want to marry.

if a person dates someone "thats dumb as a box of rocks," they must be doing it to take advantage of her, or it makes them feel better about themselves.

sorry this is so pointed. but using people pushes my buttons.

seagullplayer
2nd May 2011, 20:09
Sounds to me like you should listen more to your mom, I think she is using all her faculties to make a discussion, I think you may be using only one... :p

pquirk
2nd May 2011, 20:17
If you're willing to let #1 just walk away from the relationship, do whatever you want. Either you want a relationship (similar to what she wants) or you don't. You're thinking with your dick. Think with your brain. At your age, you should be past that.

+1. Take a breath dude, this isn't high school. If you offered the tix to #1 you have no choice anyhow...unless you're a scumbag, which I doubt. :)

snake oil
2nd May 2011, 20:24
I would wonder about someone that wants an exclusive relationship with someone that has only been single for two weeks. Remember the sequal to " it ain't easy being easy" is ''I ain't gonna be as easy to get rid of as I was easy to get in the first place''

Lenster
2nd May 2011, 20:38
This Thread is Useless without PICS!!!!

Had to be said......

Old Goat Ninja
2nd May 2011, 20:47
You've got too many girls and not enough events.... yeah, some problem you got there...

scottsxl1200
2nd May 2011, 21:13
I say keep the date with #1 (you've already locked yourself into that). And make a date with #2 for some other time and place.

DIESEL
2nd May 2011, 21:24
Good Lord. Do what you want. If you want a relationship and possibly getting married again, then take #1 to both.

If you want some ass, take #2 to both.

If you want to do this right, take #1, get some ass, make her pay for dinner, etc... (you got the tickets) and then take #2 to the next event, and repeat. At that point you can make an educated decision about them.

If #1 really wants a relationship, and you don't..D.T.B. right away. and seek out #2.

If you're really a man, introduce #1 to #2 and have a threeway.

TessArooo
2nd May 2011, 21:30
I must admit, most of the advice you got from the guys was pretty good. :-) Um....some....not so good! You sound like a great guy, so I'm sure you'll do the "right" thing. I think you already know what that is! Believe me...good guys don't always finish last! I'm sure you'll have a great time with #1. Hottie # 2 is just that, a hottie. I think you know better! LOL! Have fun! Oh...and if #1 bails...call me...I'll go! Ooops...hang on a second (yelling to my husband)..."Honey is it okay if a go?"

sportymike02
2nd May 2011, 21:36
Good Lord. Do what you want. If you want a relationship and possibly getting married again, then take #1 to both.

If you want some ass, take #2 to both.

If you want to do this right, take #1, get some ass, make her pay for dinner, etc... (you got the tickets) and then take #2 to the next event, and repeat. At that point you can make an educated decision about them.

If #1 really wants a relationship, and you don't..D.T.B. right away. and seek out #2.

If you're really a man, introduce #1 to #2 and have a threeway.

couldnt have said it better myself, especially the last line :banana
and if you make that happen...WE WANNA HEAR ALL ABOUT IT:smoke

sportyblue
2nd May 2011, 21:41
Well just keep up what your doing and I predict #1 girl will walk leaving you with #2 girl. When you uninvite #1 girl to the horse races it seems that would be the best time to tell her you don't want to be exclusive.......

It seems you do have a predicament here....

Good Luck......

VEEROD
2nd May 2011, 21:47
The most important thing is be honest with them about your feelings. And where you stand on being in a relationship at this point in time. As for me I'd go with #1 and see where it goes, but that's me. I prefer dating one woman at a time,for what it's worth!

Hogwylde
2nd May 2011, 22:26
Tell each girl that your mother showed a desire to go so you can only take 1 girl to each. Earn brownie points while lying to them! LOL

Ya damn mama's boy....LOL

Stairman
2nd May 2011, 22:30
You only have enough blood to run one brain at a time. Make sure you are thinking with the right brain.:smoke

New Girl
2nd May 2011, 22:51
Are there that many jerks in the world or is there that much of a shortage of men?

Sadly, yes, lotsa jerks. I dated a few of them after my divorce. Lots of first dates back then. :frownthre And the whole thing is complicated by a shortage of appropriate men who don't want to date women 20 years younger than them!!

The cool part is that 40 year old women are hot and are over the whole kid thing.

You got that right!! Been there, done that, loved every minute of it, but more than happy to wait for grandchildren!! :clap

Pony7up
2nd May 2011, 22:54
Do whatever feels better ! they are replaceable anyways.....my wife hates it when i tell her that !!! :D

arab1302
2nd May 2011, 23:18
Ok, I am not going to read all of the replies before I post this. So, if someone else already gave you this advice, then count it as reinforcing fires.

Lie to her. Tell #1 that you had a buddy at work that had some bad stuff come down, and you had to give him the tickets to The Oaks. Then take #2 to The Oaks. #1 probably won't show up.

If, in the extremely unlikely event that she does show up, what's the big deal? I mean, you are only thinking like this because you were married for 15 years. You are single; live it up. If, much later, you end up with one of these two, you can always blame your crass behavior on the fact that you were new to dating scene.

Rico 05R
2nd May 2011, 23:35
Good Lord. Do what you want. If you want a relationship and possibly getting married again, then take #1 to both.

If you want some ass, take #2 to both.

If you want to do this right, take #1, get some ass, make her pay for dinner, etc... (you got the tickets) and then take #2 to the next event, and repeat. At that point you can make an educated decision about them.

If #1 really wants a relationship, and you don't..D.T.B. right away. and seek out #2.

If you're really a man, introduce #1 to #2 and have a threeway.

Well Said.

couldnt have said it better myself, especially the last line :banana
and if you make that happen...WE WANNA HEAR ALL ABOUT IT:smoke

And don't forget pics...:D

sonnydaze
3rd May 2011, 00:37
if girl 2 is that dumb you dont have to take her any where to bump uglys and why would you want a dumb one ?
if i was just out of my marriage id be laying pipe all over the world not sticking with 1 lady but im a horn dog so your mileage may very and remember to cover your pipe so it does not rot off

Red5
3rd May 2011, 02:41
Here goes-

So where are you meeting all these hotties?

No Game? 2 hotties in a couple of weeks? pleasssse.... Sounds like you got more game than you know :urock

Thanks. Wish I could say it was me. I didn't ask any of them out. If I had to approach a girl in a bar I would be Mr. NotSoSmooth. I have buddies taht are good at this stuff, I know I'm not.

1. don't play games, be honest if you make a promise or commitment keep it.
Women are very social and they all know each other one way or another and believe me the word does get around if you do something wrong (trust me on that)

2. Your off the leash so to speak, and are probably thinking with your other head if you get my meaning. take it a step at a time

3. Dating is like finance, don't commit to what you can't afford and don't over extend yourself

4. After 40 stop messing with girls it time to step up and go out with real women.
(although the occasional "girl" is not a bad thing)

5. Watch out for women who have a lot of baggage or one's that refer to thier ex's alot.]

I'm going the honest route. I asked her to both and so that is what I will do. I've also meet some honest to god crazy girls of late. And I don't mean "oh shes crzy".. I mean holly shit I can't believe she walks the streets.:laugh

if you found a nice girl (#1) and dump her for a better looking body,(#2) you don't deserve her.(#1) do her a favor and stay out of her life.

I don't think a person should date a person he would not want to marry.

if a person dates someone "thats dumb as a box of rocks," they must be doing it to take advantage of her, or it makes them feel better about themselves.

sorry this is so pointed. but using people pushes my buttons.

Yeah, let's agree to disagree on this one. I don't know any of these girls well enough to tell you that I would want to share the rest of my life with them.

And if I feel like dating an idiot then so be it. Not your call. It just so happens that I don't.

Sounds to me like you should listen more to your mom, I think she is using all her faculties to make a discussion, I think you may be using only one... :p

I moved out and went into the Navy at 18. The last thing my parants paid for was a bike at 11. Been on my own forever. But yet my mother has decided she needs to offer guidence in my life now. Honestly, I think it is funny and I guess I'll hear what she has to say. Could be entertaining.

I would wonder about someone that wants an exclusive relationship with someone that has only been single for two weeks. Remember the sequal to " it ain't easy being easy" is ''I ain't gonna be as easy to get rid of as I was easy to get in the first place''


NOW WE HAVE A WINNER! Ok, this girl knew when I was getting divorced. I saw her out once before and she was smiling but kept away, the night of my divorce was when we first started talking.
I'm somewhat concerned.

This Thread is Useless without PICS!!!!

Had to be said......
Not gonna happen. My picture is my avatar, thats as close as you get.

You've got too many girls and not enough events.... yeah, some problem you got there...

:clap:D:tour

I say keep the date with #1 (you've already locked yourself into that). And make a date with #2 for some other time and place.

Good call.

Good Lord. Do what you want. If you want a relationship and possibly getting married again, then take #1 to both.

If you want some ass, take #2 to both.

If you want to do this right, take #1, get some ass, make her pay for dinner, etc... (you got the tickets) and then take #2 to the next event, and repeat. At that point you can make an educated decision about them.

If #1 really wants a relationship, and you don't..D.T.B. right away. and seek out #2.

If you're really a man, introduce #1 to #2 and have a threeway.

The tickets I have include lunch, dinner and drinks. (We're talking about $1900 tickets)
I can't see this leading into a three way. I've thought about it, and no freaking way. It would becool, but it's not gonna happen.

I must admit, most of the advice you got from the guys was pretty good. :-) Um....some....not so good! You sound like a great guy, so I'm sure you'll do the "right" thing. I think you already know what that is! Believe me...good guys don't always finish last! I'm sure you'll have a great time with #1. Hottie # 2 is just that, a hottie. I think you know better! LOL! Have fun! Oh...and if #1 bails...call me...I'll go! Ooops...hang on a second (yelling to my husband)..."Honey is it okay if a go?"

Louisville, KY is quite a drive. I could take your husband to Oaks and you to Derby. ;)

The most important thing is be honest with them about your feelings. And where you stand on being in a relationship at this point in time. As for me I'd go with #1 and see where it goes, but that's me. I prefer dating one woman at a time,for what it's worth!

We are on the same page.

Tell each girl that your mother showed a desire to go so you can only take 1 girl to each. Earn brownie points while lying to them! LOL

Ya damn mama's boy....LOL

I'm a crppy liar. And somehow my mother would find out.... And then expec me to take her. lol

You only have enough blood to run one brain at a time. Make sure you are thinking with the right brain.:smoke

I'll try and keep a clear head.

Sadly, yes, lotsa jerks. I dated a few of them after my divorce. Lots of first dates back then. :frownthre And the whole thing is complicated by a shortage of appropriate men who don't want to date women 20 years younger than them!!



You got that right!! Been there, done that, loved every minute of it, but more than happy to wait for grandchildren!! :clap

One of the girls is older than I am and one younger. It's not so much age. It's more about how much fun I have with them.

Do whatever feels better ! they are replaceable anyways.....my wife hates it when i tell her that !!! :D

Ummm..I don' think anyone is honestly replaceable.

Ok, I am not going to read all of the replies before I post this. So, if someone else already gave you this advice, then count it as reinforcing fires.

Lie to her. Tell #1 that you had a buddy at work that had some bad stuff come down, and you had to give him the tickets to The Oaks. Then take #2 to The Oaks. #1 probably won't show up.

If, in the extremely unlikely event that she does show up, what's the big deal? I mean, you are only thinking like this because you were married for 15 years. You are single; live it up. If, much later, you end up with one of these two, you can always blame your crass behavior on the fact that you were new to dating scene.

Not bad advice. I'm not going to follow it but I can appreciate where you are comming from.

if girl 2 is that dumb you dont have to take her any where to bump uglys and why would you want a dumb one ?
if i was just out of my marriage id be laying pipe all over the world not sticking with 1 lady but im a horn dog so your mileage may very and remember to cover your pipe so it does not rot off


True true true

D-Rod
3rd May 2011, 02:57
Dude, the single life is great. Eat that shit up while you can. Just try to pound them all 3 without them finding out about eachother. Im 24 and i use to be pretty good at this game lol

Woodie
3rd May 2011, 04:21
If someone else said this already, I appologize in advance. Give ticket's to #1 and #2 and find #3 and releive some stress!!

BluBeaSSt
3rd May 2011, 12:06
Yeah your screwed, and just tell girl one "your going with the flow" thats my nice version of telling them I'm just -I LUV XLF!--I LUV XLF!--I LUV XLF!--I LUV XLF!-ing you and thats it! lol

TessArooo
3rd May 2011, 16:21
Louisville, KY is quite a drive. I could take your husband to Oaks and you to Derby. ;)

Um.....I wasn't quite inviting the ol' man to go there, Red! LOL!

Red5
3rd May 2011, 18:15
Um.....I wasn't quite inviting the ol' man to go there, Red! LOL!

Sorry but I draw the line at messing with married ladies. :) I find people live longer this way. ;) :tour

TessArooo
3rd May 2011, 18:49
Sorry but I draw the line at messing with married ladies. :) I find people live longer this way. ;) :tour

LOL! Trust me...he'd PAY you to take me! <hehehehehe> j/k

Have a great day!

sportysrock
3rd May 2011, 23:50
LOL! Trust me...he'd PAY you to take me! <hehehehehe> j/k

Have a great day!


Huh. Just curious, what's the going rate? :banana