Ok I am 41 years old and it is time for me to admit one of my deep dark secrets.

Yes that is right....I am...I am...I am



























A GUM SWALLOWER!!!

There it is out. Now you know. I have been a gum swallower as long as I can remember. I do not know why but I just never could understand people who spit their gum out. Why do people do this? Why not just swallow it like me?

Is it because their grandmother told them that it would turn into a BIG BALL OF GUM in their stomach? Well it has never happened to me!

And I know that it does not get stuck in the stomach because I have seen it on the other end.

So....please let me know about you. Are you also a gum swallower? Do you try to hide this fact or are you proud that you have been able to see the truth?

That is a "G" isn't it?

Well Bert, I pretty much try not to have myself associated with the word swallower. Just a personal hang up I got.

I spit my gum out. But now some how that doesn't sound any better.

Why did a post about gum make me feel like I need a shower?

And I know that it doe not get stuck in the stomach because I have seen it on the other end.


Little too much information there. :roflblack

Jeffytune wtf?

That is a "G" isn't it?
:roflblack:roflblack:roflblack:roflblack:roflblack :roflblack:roflblack

yep i too am a GUM digester
(sorry bert but 'gum swallower' just sounds bad)


cheers
crackers

That is a "G" isn't it?

Yes it is a "G". What other letter could it be?

I never swallowed gum even when I was a kid because I was afraid that it would make a big bubble hot air balloon type thing when it came out the other end and it would float me up and carry me away from my home to a far away land never to be seen again....so that's why I never swallowed gum...especially bubble gum.

That is a "G" isn't it?

Oh ho!! that's funny :laugh

Maybe I'm the weirdo, I frigging HATE gum. What's the point. You looking for a jaw workout or something? Think you can make your face more chiseled? I never understood it - the taste isn't dramatic, it wears out quick, and then you're left either sticking it somewhere stupid or swallowing it and turning into Bert. :smoke

I never swallowed gum even when I was a kid because I was afraid that it would make a big bubble hot air balloon type thing when it came out the other end and it would float me up and carry me away from my home to a far away land never to be seen again....so that's why I never swallowed gum...especially bubble gum.
:roflblack :roflblack :roflblack

Now that is funny!

Xena,

Bubble Gum is the best!! You should SEE my farts!

Hahahahaha! I love it. Pink bubbly farts....................

hmmmmmmm, don't think I wanna SEE them though so please do not send me any for christmas. ;)

Hahahahaha! I love it. Pink bubbly farts....................

hmmmmmmm, don't think I wanna SEE them though so please do not send me any for christmas. ;)

I think your elf is a gum swallower and we are seeing the results. I think the next step is where he drops his ass on the carpet and starts scooting around the house in a semi-panic. :D

I had a dog that used to do that.

:roflblack :laugh :roflblack :laugh :roflblack :laugh :roflblack :laugh :laugh :roflblack :laugh :roflblack

Sheesh! This whole thread is hilarious! Yes sir, here on the XL forum, the range of topics never ceases to amaze me!

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and have a lobotomy now, it's the only way I'm gonna be able to get the pictures (especially the one of a person farting and being carried away by a huge, pink, fart-filled bubble) :roflblack out of my head!

:roflblack :roflblack :roflblack

This whole forum is mental, and Bert is the leader..

And I know that it does not get stuck in the stomach because I have seen it on the other end.
And yer lookin' fer comments on this??? :roflblack :laugh

Well, Bert, we'll have to see how this poll turns out, but I yam one, too! Perhaps we'll have to start a twelve step program on gum eating...you didn't mention your technique on getting the gum to the stomach and intestinal area...what I do, and it has to be subconsciously 'cause what happens is that once the flavor is gone, somehow my teeth and tongue take a tiny little piece of gum and then down the hatch...I didn't even know my mouth had done that until sometime later when I consciously search for the gum in my mouth, and the damn thing is gone!!!! So I guess I'm saying my gum doesn't "go down" all at once...just in microscopic pieces...therefore my other end product is more of a mosaic with no possibility of a pink fart that might carry me away! Safety first! :D

I'm afraid to ask what you do with lolly-pops :roflblack :roflblack :roflblack :roflblack :roflblack :roflblack

Well actually planb I use two methods. Sometimes I bite it into smaller pieces and swallow them one at a time and sometime I swallow the the gum whole.

I do not know why I do one or the other but I will start to analyze this and see if I can come up with a reason for either way.

Bert and Planb, you two have way too much time on your hands....





















But let us know how your experiment comes out...:roflblack :roflblack

Maybe the XlForum could get a federal grant to study this gum phenomenon! I always feel like my bikes run faster after gum digestion...:D I'm wondering if gum eating produces a pheromone that women can't resist, also...I know Schnuki can't keep her hands off of you, and I'm noticing that in my new S.O. toward me...does anyone on the forum do any grant writing? I think we may have something here! :banana

this thread is WRONG..........................




swallower ................... mmmmmmm not a word I wished to associate Bert and Planb with....






visuals?????



eeeeeeyyyyyyyeeeuuuuggggghhhhh



lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala happy place, happy place, happy place

Bubble Gum is the best!! You should SEE my farts!


Now I can't get the image of a naked Bert sat on a space hopper out of my head.:eek:

Mama said it would 'stop you up'........:roflblack

My God!!!!!! :yikes





What next!!!!!:D










:sofa

ah shit-I think I checked the wrong box when I voted..

1. I have lit my farts on fire before, but I do not swallow gum (with or without a 'G'), so I don't know...Do the farts actually blow a bubble????

2. I always ask "do you swallow?"..just in case.

FREAK!

Seek help now before it is too late!!!

Funny stuff!

did you ever notice that if your Gum looses its flavor then you can add some sugar to it and just keep on chewing? ...ok I'm the weird one...I don't swallow gum...I stick it behind my ear for tomorrow...THEN I swallow it!

I have done the sugar thing.

Protein shakes....yes. Gum....no :D

Warning- DO NOT SWALLOW GUM!!!!

The exiting gum will open a " backdoor" for Berts Mind Rays, rendering your foil beanies useless!!
Nice try Bert, but we're on to you.

talk about skid marks

You all are way too funny! But yes at times I have also swallowed my gum. It depends on whether there is any other way to dispose of it. If not...it's swallowed...never had any problems....soo...not to worry Xena...I've swallowed bubble gum too!...Now...what about watermelon seeds? Who takes the time to spit those out?...not me!

[QUOTE=bplinson]

And I know that it does not get stuck in the stomach because I have seen it on the other end.

[QUOTE]


Count 'em in and count 'em out?:hmmm :danccow

I'll go about this the politically correct way as some other member did. I am a gum digester. I chew the life out of it. Then chew it some more, then cut it up into tiny little chunck and cough it down. Reason being? I've stepped in to many stray gum spits.

My name is John A - And I'm a gum digester - I also chew hard candy

I'm not even supposed to chew gum, but I do.:o

My jaw was badly tweaked in a wreck many years ago and all my doctors have told me not to chew gum. It gives me headaches, but sometimes I just gotta do it.







I do not swallow it.:p

Dubfire--Now I can't get the image of a naked Bert sat on a space hopper out of my head.

How about Bert draggin' his butt on the carpet????

I'm siding with Bert; I'm a swallower...of gum (I don't care what else you heard! It's just not true, dammit! It's not true...)

Although the threat of the pink bubble carrying me away would've been pretty cool, the warning I always got when I was a kid was "it takes seven years to digest." My theory was that if I ate enough, it'd make a big lump in my stomach, and I'd have to get x-rays taken. Hopefully, something would go wrong during the x-rays, and I'd end up with superpowers like Spiderman or the X-Men (whereas, nowadays, I just want the money and the cool toys Batman had!). Hey, when you're six, it's actually a pretty sound theory (then again, G.I. Joe seemed plausible back then, too).

Hopefully, something would go wrong during the x-rays, and I'd end up with superpowers like Spiderman or the X-Men.

Damn, i wish I would have thought of that. I could have be the green goblin or something like that. <-- evil power unite to take over the world!!! ha aha hah ah ah aha

Christ.......why did I read through this.....now I gotta schedule another appointment with the psychiatrist.......:frownthre :headbang :headbang the images........gotta these images outta my head.......

Bert could be 'Super Bubble'

:roflblack :roflblack :roflblack

Well Bert, I pretty much try not to have myself associated with the word swallower. Just a personal hang up I got.

I spit my gum out. But now some how that doesn't sound any better.

Why did a post about gum make me feel like I need a shower?

:roflblack :roflblack :roflblack I'm with you on this one!

Protein shakes....yes. Gum....no :D Y'all missed this one er what....?

Hey Kath, I didn't know TUMS were a source of protein. They only mention calcium...? :whisper

http://xlforum.net/photopost/data/500/tums.jpg

Protein shakes....yes. Gum....no :D
Leave it to Kath to make the ONLY interesting post here! The rest of you guys need to ride yer bikes or something! And before you say it, get a snowmobile then!

Leave it to Kath to make the ONLY interesting post here! The rest of you guys need to ride yer bikes or something! And before you say it, get a snowmobile then!

Suck UP! :p

...I like tootsie rolls.

I used to. Now I just spit the chewing gum out.

Do It Yourself: Make Your Own Protein Shake

Do It Yourself: Make Your Own Protein Shake

I don't think that's what Kath had in mind...;):D:D:D

OMG, what a bizarre thread! :roflblack :roflblack :roflblack
Too frickin' funny. How long are these pictures of Bubble Bert going to be in my head?!?!

Nope, I can honestly say I've never digested gum. And now I'm sure I never want to! :roflblack

I don't think that's what Kath had in mind...;):D:D:D

No it isn't.....I like it directly from the tap ;) :D

....Joke:
Q: How can ya tell the protein content??
A: She has to chew before she swallows.

....Joke:
Q: How can ya tell the protein content??
A: She has to chew before she swallows.
:roflblack :roflblack :roflblack

No it isn't.....I like it directly from the tap ;) :D

I saw this one coming a mile away. . . .:roflblack
:spank

Lefty

Do It Yourself: Make Your Own Protein Shake



Unless your Superman,I think you would only need a shot glass for what Kath is talking about.
:smoke

This thread is ridiculous!:doh But yet I am compelled to keep reading! Farts on fire are cool. :shhhh

Unless your Superman,I think you would only need a shot glass for what Kath is talking about.
:smoke

Damn! :doh

When I'm done I spit it out all over my gurls face!


Adios





**EDIT** Im fuggin sick.

Charm's Blow Pops - Bert's Heroin

http://www.imageexchange.com/skuimg/16391.jpg

Reinforced undies for gum swallowers.
http://www.imageexchange.com/skuimg/16446.jpg

My girlfriend swallows alright.....but I dont...:smoke

Heroin.....:sofa ?!?!?!

Let's lay off the hard stuff talk here, huh?

This is family oriented gum talk .... :smoke

This thread is still going! And I'm still freaking reading it! Why?!

This was a crazy thread back then and now it's...







Nucking Futz!

I used to swallow Gum, But one day I farted and Blew a Bubble. I Figured that was enough. So I gave up Swallowing Gum. Since then my life has been a full rich life, Full of Laughter , Watching Those people Step in the Gum I just Spit on the Ground..
If you have Farted a bubble, You know what I mean. Very Messy !! If your tired of cleaning stuck Bubble Gum from your rear end and you are ready to get help, Then there is a 12 step Program that will help you also to stop Swallowing Gum, Please go to the nearest Candy store and ask for help.. They are there for you...

I suppose the difference between lust and love is spitting or swallowing. Do you love yor gum?????

I never swallowed gum even when I was a kid because I was afraid that it would make a big bubble hot air balloon type thing when it came out the other end and it would float me up and carry me away from my home to a far away land never to be seen again....so that's why I never swallowed gum...especially bubble gum.


LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!
:clap

I don't chew gum.

Wow, this thread is from about a month after I joined...

I'm surprised I've never seen it before(granted I could have simply forgotten it).

Protein shakes....yes. Gum....no :D

:tour Now there is a woman you gotta love


Kath, I think everyone else missed that one

I can't believe I missed the begining of this thread. I could have added some of the other deep dark secrets of the BERT OH Naytter. Yes there are several but those are for other threads and other websites that he is amember of, dang I said member.
Man Bert I thought this was one of your safer secrets. Well I guess the closet door is opening wider now,,,,er I didn't mean to say closet, AHH Dang I said it again. Le Frap.:doh

I should be committed just for clicking on this thread...:doh

Don't borrow the pink hippity hop...

Can someone send my some Lithium. I just took the last of what I had.

I swallow...Am I weird?

You're a prude if you don't!

.

I never swallowed gum even when I was a kid because I was afraid that it would make a big bubble hot air balloon type thing when it came out the other end and it would float me up and carry me away from my home to a far away land never to be seen again....so that's why I never swallowed gum...especially bubble gum.



:banasad

OH CRAP!!! Now I'll have THAT image stuck in my head for weeks....



ASTRID.....ASTRID.....ASTRID.....ASTRID......ASTRI D.....:shhhh:D

Bert. Do everyone a favor.... please....... don't EVER start a thread with a title like that again:(:frownthre:laugh

Bert this would make you an 11,,,,,a then that swallows:angry

As far as the sugar thing goes, I have had women tell me that if you eat a lot of celery the "other" gum tastes better:werd








I am going to take a very long shower now and never close my eyes again........can't take the images that were formed from this thread!

I still swallow my gum. But I have not swallowed any in 2008!

Well...if the poll is accurate then 1/4 of the Earth's population swallows their gum.

I knew I was not alone!

Hey Bert....try this!

http://www.sillyjokes.co.uk/images/p-jokes/toilet/fart-gum.jpg

Bert,
I just have to share this story...

We were building the Sprint complex in KC. Crew of a dozen electricians, a couple summer helpers and a foreman.

One of the helpers is about to go back to school and was talking about his resume. What to do if they asked about tabacco use. He dipped, but didn't spit.

The foreman had been riding this kid all summer and I didn't think he deserved it. Good worker. Anyways, the foreman starts laughing as he points out that putting "I swallow" may not be a good idea.

I said, "Unless he's applying for a foreman's job."

The crew was literally rolling on the floor laughing. Foreman turned the most remarkable shade of red...

Sam

ok I may be late on this one but my question is this. Have you ever blown a bubble when you fart? I just had to ask!!!

how is that even possible?
HAHA.

I eat it......right after I open it I break it into pieces and Swallow.......Oh it has to be super bubble...ate a whole bag last night

If it start's with G I don't think there's to much to worry about...lol

My mom used to tell me that "digesting" chewing gum would make it stick to my intestines and kill me. I was traumatized by it.

Later on in high school, I did experiement a little, even did a few double-dares, but I didn't like the feeling.... of swallowing chewing gum.

So, the answer is no, but I did try it in HS

This whole thread's weird :laugh

My mom used to tell me that "digesting" chewing gum would make it stick to my intestines and kill me. I was traumatized by it.

Later on in high school, I did experiement a little, even did a few double-dares, but I didn't like the feeling.... of swallowing chewing gum.

So, the answer is no, but I did try it in HS

I tried it in High School too but, never inhaled.

i believe this is the silliest thread ive read on here. and no i dont swallow GUM

:roflblack:roflblack:roflblack:roflblack:roflblack