Subject: Raising Boys


> The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...
>
>
> Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
>
>
> 1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
>house
>4 inches deep.
>
> 2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
>roller blades, they can ignite.
>
> 3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
>restaurant.
>
> 4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
>strong enough to rotate 42 pound B oy wearing Batman underwear and a
>Superman
cape
>It is strong enough, however, if t! ied to a paint can, to spread paint
on
>all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
>
> 5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
>When
>using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times

>before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
>
> 6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball
>hit by a ceiling fan.
>
> 7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's
>already too late
>
> 8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
>
> 9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even
>though a 36-year old man says they ca n only do it in the movies.
>
> 10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a
>4-year old Boy! .
>
> 11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same
> sentence.
>
> 12.) Super glue is forever.
>
> 13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still
>can't walk on water.
>
> 14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
>
> 15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV
>commercials show they do.
>
> 16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
>
> 17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
>
> 18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
>
> 19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do

>not like ovens.
>
> 20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response
> time.
>
> 21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms
>dizzy.
>
> 22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
>
> 23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
>
> 24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
>fluid.
>
>
> Those who pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or
>without boys do it because:
> < BR>> a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
> b) For those who already have children past this age, this is
>hilarious.
> c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
> d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
> e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control
>

I am soooo busted. I was just thinking about #24..... Ooops.

You should know by now that the difference between men and boys is the price (and size) of thier toys.

:roflblack :roflblack :roflblack :roflblack hmmmm.....brake fluid and clorox wait no I wasnt thinking it your wrong. LOL!!

I now know what will p**s off the wife the next time my friend Jim comes to town..... :laugh

I have three sons.

I remember when my middle son Jesse came out from the mud room with tears in his eyes asking.... "What happens when a little boy swallows a screw?"

Come to find out, it wasn't a screw, it was one of them erector set sized square nuts. He was just fine.

When I was in college (the first time :D ) one of my dorm mates and I found out that garbage bags (the cheap 1-2 mil ones) make good impromptu hot air balloons. Just make sure your fuel cups don't leak onto the wooden cross braces that hold the bag open... almost set fire to the library... :doh :doh :doh

It was cool though seeing that bag going up at night. I'm surprised we didn't start UFO sightings. We might have if the fuel hadn't leaked onto the cross braces and set the bag on fire. :roflblack :roflblack :roflblack

All that sounds fairly typical. And, yes I will try the clorox and brake fluid combo just to see if it works.

Is she suggesting that girls are different??????

Cheers,

Brett

Sounds like someone was watching me and my brothers when we were growing up! :doh :roflblack

Some of it's pretty tame...

My cousins and I would take ammo....whatever we could scrounge......22's, shot shells, .38's.... then we would pull the bullett/shot out of it, crimp it back shut, clamp it in a vise (outside), turn our head and smack the primer with a hammer/nail.

Soon the regular booms weren't enough and we started pouring more and more powder into each case to get a bigger boom.

God watches over drunks and little kids they tell me....:smoke

24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
>fluid.


Damn straight...

Some of it's pretty tame...

My cousins and I would take ammo....whatever we could scrounge......22's, shot shells, .38's.... then we would pull the bullett/shot out of it, crimp it back shut, clamp it in a vise (outside), turn our head and smack the primer with a hammer/nail.

Soon the regular booms weren't enough and we started pouring more and more powder into each case to get a bigger boom.

God watches over drunks and little kids they tell me....:smoke
....yah... leaving the bullit in is a BAD idea.:shhhh

When my now 29 year old son was about 4 years old, I watched over him while the wife was at the grocery store. I asked him if he wanted some chocolate milk, he instantly said yes. There was only a small amount of milk left in the plastic jug, so I just add the Hershey's chocolate syrup to the jug and shook it up. Poured him a small glass and myself a larger glass. After we sipped some of our drinks, I squirted more chocolate in mine, he then asked for more in his. I told him no, that he had enough in his. He said, "You got more!" I told him it was because my glass was bigger than his and it needed more. The little shit replied, "What difference does that make, it came out of the same jug!" (he had me...I added more choc. syrup to his glass also)