View Full Version : Letter to Dr. Laura


mhamden
30th October 2006, 17:56
For those of you who may not be aware of the recent controversy
in North America that has to do with Laura Schlessinger: she is a
radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to
her radio show.

Paramount Television Group is currently producing a "Dr. Laura"
television show. Recently she has become a convert to Judaism,
and now she is Ba'al T'shuvah. Recently, she has made some
statements about homosexuals that has caused the Canadian anti-
hate laws to censure her.

The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura which was posted on
the internet...

Dear Dr. Laura,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's
Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to
share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone
tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply
remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an
abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the
specific biblical laws and how to best follow them. Specifically:

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it
creates a pleasing odour for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is
my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them.
Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned
in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a
fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is
in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The
problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women
take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male
and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations.
A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not
Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.
Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I
morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
Abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if
I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading
glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some
flexibility here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the
hair around their temples, even though this is expressly
forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig
makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing
garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester
blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really
necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town
together to stone them? (Lev. 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn
them to death at a private family affair like we do with people
who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.20:14).

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am
confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and
unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

Anita Heiss

Crash03
31st October 2006, 19:06
Huh, besides that it's like 4 or 5 years old, I still didn't see what was joking or funny about this...

Harterhog
31st October 2006, 19:20
Huh, besides that it's like 4 or 5 years old, I still didn't see what was joking or funny about this...


Uh, yeah. . . .

Glad you're no neighbor of mine! How many ways could I stand to be put to death?:doh

BTW -- it's very funny if you speak sarcasm and aren't afraid of religious zealots.:laugh

Crash03
1st November 2006, 19:03
Uh, yeah. . . .

Glad you're no neighbor of mine! How many ways could I stand to be put to death?:doh

Once we got past the first one? Probably ALL of them.


BTW -- it's very funny if you speak sarcasm and aren't afraid of religious zealots.:laugh

Apparently all the other respondents to it thought so too!

See? I'm FLUENT in sarcasm, ascerbic wit, AND irony. And I'm as afraid of religious zealots as I am secular agendists... :rolleyes:

Harterhog
2nd November 2006, 06:32
:laugh Goood!

Then we can all be friends.

Actually, I was kicking myself last night for even responding to this thread. Got suckered into it.:doh Isn't this supposed to be a forum about bikes?

I'm just not going to get baited into anything that's P&R ever again. I'm not. No, really. . .