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bigjnsa
15th February 2009, 20:32
A BLONDE was weed-eating her yard and accidentally cut off the tail of her cat that was hiding in the grass. She rushed her cat, along with the cat's tail over to WAL-MART!


"Why WAL-MART?" you ask.
HELLOOOOOOOOO!


Because...


WALMART

is the largest RE-TAILER in the world!!!

dre986
15th February 2009, 20:34
:clap:D:clap:D:clap:laugh:D:laugh:clap:D:laugh:cla p:laugh:D:clap:laugh:frownthre:frownthre:frownthre :frownthre

Flamin883
15th February 2009, 20:35
what do you call 10 blonds at the bottem of the ocean

































































air pocket

Hogwylde
15th February 2009, 20:49
Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?

So they have a place to hook their high heels

:hidechai

bigjnsa
15th February 2009, 20:52
Oh, that's baaad Hog ;)

ReddTigger
15th February 2009, 21:30
whats the first thing a blonde says in the morning ??






















Are all you guys on the same team ?

bigjnsa
15th February 2009, 21:36
Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.

Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

Flamin883
15th February 2009, 21:38
what do computers and blonds have in common












you don't appreciate either one till they go down

ReddTigger
15th February 2009, 21:39
how do you know a blonde was using your computer ??


There's white out on the screen..



how do you another blonde used it after her.?

There are corrections.

DEEP DIVER
15th February 2009, 22:08
A blonde goes in to a computer shop to buy some curtains for her computer,
the salesman says we do not sell curtains?
The blonde gets angry and starts shouting
BUT MY COMPUTER HAS GOT WINDOWS

Martyvz
16th February 2009, 00:59
Q. Why do blondes wear panties?

A. To keep their ankles warm.

scottgearman
16th February 2009, 01:02
Q. Why do blondes wear panties?

A. To keep their ankles warm.




NIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCEEE

Quebeker
16th February 2009, 01:13
why do blondes prefer car with tilt steering wheels?



more headroom.

Quebeker
16th February 2009, 01:14
how do call a blonde who dyes her hair brown?




artificial intelligence.

freakshowexess
16th February 2009, 01:21
What's the differance between a blonde and a washing machine.


The washing machine don't stalk you after you put a load into it.

freakshowexess
16th February 2009, 01:23
:sofa :banadanc:roflblack

bockstroker
16th February 2009, 01:43
What to do you get if you stand a blonde on her head?


A brunette with bad breath....

mjbogrand
16th February 2009, 03:44
What is the first thing a blond does in the morning?

Goes home

Likemlouder
16th February 2009, 04:15
blonde was listening to the weather forecast 6-8 inches of snow please park your cars on the right side of the street to allow the snoblower room to clear the street
the next week frecaster said 8-9 inches expected please park vehicles on the left side of the street
the next week the forecast was more snow 9-10 inches /'[;./'[] the forecast broke up blonde was frantic.
husband very calm said hun just leave it in the garage this time

gamhill
16th February 2009, 04:26
A blonde was trying to sell her old car.

She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had almost 230,000 miles on it.

One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon.

The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."

"That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I can only sell the car."

"Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will 'fix it'. Then you shouldn't have a problem anymore trying to sell your car."

The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic.

About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?"

"No," replied the blonde, "Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"

gamhill
16th February 2009, 04:37
I've collected blond jokes over the years - this is one of my favs!




The blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out.

A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware I could cite you for indecent exposure?"

She says, "Why, officer?"

"Because your breast is exposed."

"Oh. my God", says the blond. "I left the baby on the bus!"

mjbogrand
16th February 2009, 06:17
A blonde was trying to sell her old car.

She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had almost 230,000 miles on it.

One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon.

The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."

"That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I can only sell the car."

"Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will 'fix it'. Then you shouldn't have a problem anymore trying to sell your car."

The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic.

About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?"

"No," replied the blonde, "Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"

Should have seen that coming!

gamhill
12th March 2009, 16:27
--A Blonde is watching the news with her husband when
the newscaster says "Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving
accident."

The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing
"That's horrible!!! So many men dying that way!"

Confused, he says, "Yes dear, it is sad, but they
were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved."

After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says,
"How many is a Brazilian?"

Weo
12th March 2009, 17:56
What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on her head?



















All you can eat for under a buck.

simoindago
12th March 2009, 19:59
Q: What do yo call a Blonde standing on her head?
A: A Brunette with bad breath!

Gone
12th March 2009, 20:26
A travelling salesman was driving through a rural area, when his car suddenly broke down. Having no cell phone, the salesman decided to walk and see if he could borrow the use of a farmer's phone.

After a couple hours walking, it was getting on toward sunset, the salesman came across a run down farmhouse, so he started up the drive. As he approached the house, dogs started barking, roosters crowing, sheep bleating, and turkeys gobbling. "What the hell d'ye want, mister?", came a voice from the porch.

The salesman approached the porch, and saw an old farmer sitting there cleaning the biggest shotgun he'd ever seen. He explained, "Well sir, you see, my car broke down, and I'd really appreciate it if I could use your phone to call for assistance."

The old farmer spit a glob of tobbacky, and glared menacingly at the salesman. "We ain't got no telephone here sonny, but I reckon you can bunk here for the night, an' I'll give you a ride into town in the morning."

The salesman was very thankful, and as he was about to say so, the farmer-with a wave of his enormous shotgun, cut him off. "Yer more than welcome to stay the night downstairs in the spare bedroom, but don't you be botherin' with my daughters-or I'll have to shoot ya!"

The salesman assured the farmer that there would be no problems in that area, and after the farmer led him inside the house, he curled up and went to sleep-tired from his evening's walking.

Some time later, he was roused from a deep sleep, by the bedroom door opening. It was full dark, but in the moonlight he could see, standing in the doorway, the most beautiful brunette he had ever seen. She took his hand, and led him upstairs. At the top of the stairs, he stepped on a squeaky board, making a loud screech.

"What in de HELL is a'going on up there!?!?", came the angry farmer's shout from downstairs.

"Meow", said the brunette.

"Stupid cat" the farmer grumbled, and went back to sleep. The brunette led the salesman to her room, and gave him an hour of amazing sex.

Later, after returning to his room-the salesman was again roused from a deep sleep. Standing in the doorway was the most sensual redhead he'd ever laid eyes on. She took him by the hand, and led him upstairs. Again, he stepped on the squeaky board.

"What in the HELL is a'going on up there!?!?" came the farmer's angry shout.

"Meow", said the redhead.

"Stupid cat", the farmer grumbled, returning to sleep. The redhead led the salesman to her room, and gave him an hour of acrobatic, wild sex.

Yet later in the night, after being returned to his room-the salesman was again roused from a deep sleep. There, standing in his doorway, was a stunning blonde angel. She took him by the hand, and led him up the stairs.Amazingly, he once again stepped on the squeaky board.

"What in the HELL is a'going on up there!?!?" Yelled the ornery, and well-armed old farmer.

"It's the cat", said the blonde.

;)

Red Red Kroovy
12th March 2009, 20:30
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RbG1jHewWw

Manicmechanic
12th April 2009, 08:43
As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, and knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Missouri and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK."