The Purina Diet


I was in local supermarket buying a large bag of Purina for my dog and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ :doh duh!
I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again,
Although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
Before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.
Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it . I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story,particularly a tall guy behind her. Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital. I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.:laugh :laugh

That's hilarious! Thanks.

Reminds me of a lady when I used to live in MD.
She would paint her face like a cat and roam around the Safeway grocery store. If you got too close she would meow, hiss, and act like she was going to claw you. She always bought lots of cans of wet cat food. I happened to leave the store at the same time as her once and watched as she climbed into a white Lotus that I had often admired in the parking lot. On several occasions after that I saw her eat from the wet cat food cans with a plastic spoon while sitting in the Lotus. One of the strangest things I have ever seen and I wasnt chemicaly enhanced at the time!

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahah great story. Some people will believe anything!