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Human Relationships - Marriage, Dating, the Single Life This is where you can discuss human relations topicsthat are important to you. Please keep the discussion intelligent and remember EVERYONE has their own opinion.

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  #21  
Old 10th January 2011
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If she is your plan for a future you both got to stop drinking, period.

If she has a problem she can not control, she has to stay away from the stuff.
For some moderation is just not possible, it is all or nothing.

If she is the love of your life, you got to stop too. It is unrealistic that she can stay away from it, if you continue, even in moderation.

Don’t expect someone else to do something you are not willing to do yourself.

I know you think the problem is all about her, but if you plan to stay in this relationship it is your problem too.


Good luck.
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  #22  
Old 10th January 2011
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Mattbastard Mattbastard is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seagullplayer View Post
If she is your plan for a future you both got to stop drinking, period.

If she has a problem she can not control, she has to stay away from the stuff.
For some moderation is just not possible, it is all or nothing.

If she is the love of your life, you got to stop too. It is unrealistic that she can stay away from it, if you continue, even in moderation.

Donít expect someone else to do something you are not willing to do yourself.

I know you think the problem is all about her, but if you plan to stay in this relationship it is your problem too.


Good luck.
While constructive as your comment may be, I'll dump her before I quit having my daily beer (and yes, It's only 1). There's a lot of things in my life I hold in moderation successfully, including common addictions for other people. If I can do it, so can she. I'm not lowering myself to that level.
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  #23  
Old 16th January 2011
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While constructive as your comment may be, I'll dump her before I quit having my daily beer (and yes, It's only 1). There's a lot of things in my life I hold in moderation successfully, including common addictions for other people. If I can do it, so can she. I'm not lowering myself to that level.
Matt, I'm going through the same thing myself and frankly I don't know what to do about it. She is constantly getting loaded to do anything and its quite embarrasing. I'm posting about this in another thread to not hijack yours.
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  #24  
Old 16th January 2011
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Sorry to say but not all will come around to your wants. Sometimes it's better to cut bait and find a better situation, some just don't grow up and accept responsibility for themselves or will change just because you want them to.

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  #25  
Old 16th January 2011
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Sorry to say but not all will come around to your wants. Sometimes it's better to cut bait and find a better situation, some just don't grow up and accept responsibility for themselves or will change just because you want them to.

I have come to that realization as well. Only time will tell.
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  #26  
Old 16th January 2011
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Dang Guys I am sorry your going through this
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  #27  
Old 16th January 2011
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My advice to folks trying to find their soulmate (24 yrs married) - Tanya Tucker said it best when she sang ....
If it don't come easy, you better let it go.
'Cos when it don't come easy, there's no natural flow.
Don't make it hard on your heart, you might be better off alone,
If it don't come easy, you better let it go, yeah.


Jay
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  #28  
Old 16th January 2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seagullplayer View Post
If she is your plan for a future you both got to stop drinking, period.

If she has a problem she can not control, she has to stay away from the stuff.
For some moderation is just not possible, it is all or nothing.

If she is the love of your life, you got to stop too. It is unrealistic that she can stay away from it, if you continue, even in moderation.

Donít expect someone else to do something you are not willing to do yourself.

I know you think the problem is all about her, but if you plan to stay in this relationship it is your problem too.


Good luck.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattbastard View Post
While constructive as your comment may be, I'll dump her before I quit having my daily beer (and yes, It's only 1). There's a lot of things in my life I hold in moderation successfully, including common addictions for other people. If I can do it, so can she. I'm not lowering myself to that level.
Having gone through a similar situation and hearing a lot about AA, I can tell you it has nothing whatsoever to do with what the partner does or doesn't do...or what he can or can't do. It's all about her. Not drinking yourself will have no impact on whether or not she chooses to drink. You SHOULD have your beer. Drinking at whatever level is a personal choice.
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  #29  
Old 17th January 2011
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Originally Posted by Mattbastard View Post
I have come to that realization as well. Only time will tell.
I gotta say though, do you really want to hang out and let times make a decision for you.

Look I've been married twice, both times ended in divorce that I initiated. and when things went sour I wanted out rather than wait around for some change. The last one was the worst since she was a little younger than me and all she wanted to do was have fun but not be faithful.

It takes two working together to be happy in a relationship and if one's behavior is bringing the other down it's not going to get any better unless there's a split.
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  #30  
Old 16th February 2011
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There for the grace of God go I. Sometimes one thinks they have it tough and then you read this. I hope we get good news from you Matt.
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