Still Love Her... stuck in limbo (LONG story) - Page 7

MetallHed · #61 29th August 2011

Yeah it's been a few months for me, yet, and there are still a few times when I just get in a "blah" mood thinking about it. Not really sad, but just dwell on how much it sucked. Those times are getting farther apart though. I recently got my first house, so that's been taking up my free time; which is good at keeping my mind occupied. I look back on things now and I just kinda learn from what I did and what I could do differently. I think I'll learn quite a few things from the whole relationship, which to me is nice. I try not to get sad about it; I remember the good times, and learn from the mistakes. I hope these lessons help me in the future.

I've been hanging out with quite a few new people. Making some new lady friends, too.

It's been pretty good, and I'm enjoying my single life more and more. This is cool.

Hang in there, buddy. Things get better.

Montana Cowboy · #62 29th August 2011

Glad to hear things are rolling along. Great idea getting that house. Nothing like sweat equity. That place is a reflection of yourself. Be as proud of it as you can be. Keep it neat and clean....no telling what cute and interesting young lady might show up unexpected!!!! Keep the faith...your the captain of your own destiny.

goinsideways136 · #63 22nd October 2011

Man what a great thread. Just went through a horrible relationship with a narcistic beautiful evil woman. Been trying to recover and this has helped!

Desertfox · #64 22nd October 2011

Being an old married guy I can give you a perspective from long experience. I gave up trying to figure women out years ago. Most of them aren't worth the trouble. If you happen to find that ruby in a bucket of dimes count yourself blessed. You can go into any Prison, talk to any inmate and if you dig deep enough into the story of what got him there you will find a woman at the bottom of it.

moslopoke · #65 22nd October 2011

trust is a fragile things once broken it is very hard to repair and is never the same.

as others have said the hot passionate love cools after time, if you have not built up some things based on being friends or fitting together in ways other than love you will have problems.

you have trust issues with her and she has trust issues with you. you crossed the line by snooping into her phone and then blowing up with her about it, hate to say it but you had no right to do that.

I suspect she now does not trust you and will likely keep things from you that perhaps she might have talked about. you don't trust her because you confirmed in your mind her "sins" with the other fellow.

being young is not easy. being in love is not easy. as you age you gain some insights but love is still not easy. add to that money issues which really kill a large number of relationships.

you are doing things right, if you are not able to be with you you are not able to be with anyone. I don't know if you can rebuild the trust. perhaps you can. you need to start with a cold look inside my friend, do YOU trust her now? will talking to a guy set off alarms again? can you keep from snooping and then use that as a fight issue? need to sort that out. you BOTH screwed up and you both need to get your own house in order.

I am rambling on, I am talking from the other side of youth, old age. I have had relationships go bad, I have had my heart broken. I am on marriage #2 so I am far from perfect. This one is 18 yrs and counting. we are far from perfect but we have grown together and defined our lives and it does not include being joined at the hip

keep talking it out, keep working it out in your mind. rant away this is why you have brothers, go for a ride always clears my head.

MetallHed · #66 4th November 2011

I am doing good. I have put the thought of getting back together with her out of my mind, because I don't think it would ever be the same. I'm not sure if I'd ever be able to get over the things that have happened.

We talk occasionally about everyday stuff, but the times between contact are becoming longer and longer; and that's fine with me. I've been letting go, by focusing on a more important person: myself.

I think with as many women as there are in the world, I'll be able to find one that will make me happy, and be trustful. A smart girl with a good head on her shoulders. One that is strong enough to stand on her own, yet humble enough to accept help and support at times. They're out there, and I'll find one; yet I'm not going to rush anything. It will happen when it happens.

I've gotten moved into my house, and am slowly acquiring things to make it a home. Starting from scratch again sucks, and I'm only using cash to pay for things, so it takes a little time for me to save up. Otherwise I'm starting to really dig living on my own. Do my own stuff, live on my schedule, arrange things my way, and plus I can fart and drink beer as often as I want.

lol

I have met a few ladies in the past couple of months. Nothing serious. There is a more recent one that I'm becoming decent friends with; not sure how I feel about her as far as dating, but we do have a lot of fun together. Time will tell if I choose to advance this relationship, but for now I enjoy having some good times with new people.

So, things have been good. Really good.

Deacon Dan · #67 4th November 2011

At the ripe old age of 70 I have found that for me a relationship crash takes me about a year to get myself centered enough for good relationship development so do not rush it.

Robus · #68 4th November 2011

People change a lot between their teens and mid-20s. Don't be surprised the relationship ended. Most of them do. You'll move on sooner if you accept it. Bottom line, she's moving into her own place, mot back in with you. That says it all right there.