Teenage Son, Aaaarg!

[xena]

No kids here but saw lots of my friends go
thru it with theirs. All I can do is wish you luck.
Don't get me started on the phone thing.
I think cell phones have turned the general
public into zombies. I have a small biz and
don't use the phone half as much as some
of my idiot friends who don't use it for work
but are on it constantly.
Again, much luck to ya!

[bud095]

wow! you actually let your kid ride a motorcycle? my parents still hate my bike to this day im 43 as far as him saving his money to buy a jeep he sounds like a fairly responsible kid maybe im wrong........bud

[TreyButcher]

I was a total f*#@-off at that age.. I did have my own job that paid well and I was paying rent which led me to believe I was paying to live under their roof AND NOT by their rules.

You might have to take it all with a grain of salt.. I don't know how willful your son is, but that fact that he saved for the Jeep leads me to believe that when he wants something, he will get it. I was the same way and when finally confronted by my father.. I moved out(I was 16). My relationship with my folks is strained to this day, after almost 25 years.

[WinterWheel]

I'm still waiting for the aliens to return my son. Can't stand the "pod-kid" they left us the last time. Soon he'll be 19, so...(We wait expectantly to have a human return to us).
Meanwhile, our 2 daughters (24 & 15), I can handle fine. Ok, maybe the 15 year old will be a bit of a stretch, but she'll have to really try if she wants to be as much of a "high-maintenance" child as my son ever was.
Still, we love them all.

Please, Klatu. Return our son. We'll pay, I swear!

[sportyblue]

It seems at this age family is second on the list and social networking has bumped up to first on the list. Sounds like he is trying out his own independence to see how that works for him. He sounds motivated....has a social network.....cell phones are todays way. Let's take all that away.....no motivation.....no friends.....not interested in a cell phone.....that doesn't sound very good. He's not depressed.....a couch potato....and could care less about friends.....Sounds pretty normal to be. Be cool.....provide guidance and wait for him to get a little older.....he'll come back to you. Even right now with the chest bumping.....a challenge.....take that away.....he could care less about you maybe. He sounds pretty normal.....just finding his way.

Good luck. My daughter was an easy keeper. Only had a few issues once in awhile.....

[Crush]

Maybe you should get your own iphone and start texting him questions about the jeep.

[Vermonter]

no kids here yet (but any day now) but I remember myself at that age, I had my first car, and an old honda bike, the bike needed work, and I wanted to be the one to do it. My dad did four years of auto motive when he was in high school, but I didn't want to hear what he had to say about work my car or bike needed. I wanted to say I did it on my own, and didn't want it to be just another project where I was my dads hands. I look back now and see that all those projects where really him teaching me all sorts of skills that I now use all the time. Today I am appreciative for all he did, but back then I would have been pissed if I came home and saw him turning a wrench on my vehicle.

as for the phone thing all I can say is good luck, I never had a phone until after I moved out of the house and was able to get a cell for less then what a land line was going to cost at my apartment, even then it took me 6 months to decide it was worth the expense.

[Pagan48]

Well, I have 5 girls now ages 17-23. I went through similar things with all. I do believe it's part of the maturing process - learning and gaining independence. Sounds like a cliche but I just practiced "tough love." All basically good kids. The oldest took a quarter off college 3 years ago and hasn't been back. Exactly what we warned her about but she has to make her own way. If she's happy working at Walmart and sitting on her Associates Degree then why should I be unhappy? 3 of the others in college and believe me I can't teach them anything because they know it all. Still waiting for them to grow out of it. None of the kids have any interest in anything that their Mom or me has an interest in. iPhones? Don't get me started. The high number was 7,000 texts in one month. That was 1 of the girls. The others are not that far behind. Thank God for unlimited texting.

[redi2ride]

37 now. butremember my a$$ hole years clearly. I didn't have the maturity or attention span to work on a car. all I wanted to do is sneak out to party with my palls and chase tail. anything that got in the way of that was ignored. My pops used to threaten to knock me out all the time. he even grabbed me a few times to shake me up. I NEVER physically instigated it 1st. It put a huge wedge between us. untill one day I got tough/sick enough to ablige him. he out weighed my by a good 80 lbs. but I was wirier than he expected and fast as hell. he lost and I lost all respect after hearing how I was going to get it someday. Love them and tell them you feelings with out a hint of condensention in your voice tell them your hopes for them and your dream of together time. have mom back you up with" your dad realy is excited about sharing what he knows with you. have her remind them that the chance to spend time with you will be over in a flash and they will never be able to come back to it. you may get at least a lil time at best.good luck. remember you get more flies with honey than vinegar.Anger will just give them ammo to blame all there own short comings on you too the therapist.

[bitpusher]

Originally Posted by Starleak

First time I balled my fists at my dad (about 16 yrs old) I got socked. Hard. He beat the crap out of me lol... Not spanked, beat up. Best solution? Probably not, but I never did it again!

My son is 13... Not sure how it will go when it's his turn to chest bump or ball fists. But at 13 he gets smacked across head a lot for his mouth. Love him to death, hate his mouth. Smart @$$ little sh-t...

I am here to tell you that a judiciously applied good old fashioned ass whoopin works wonders.

a simple example that can be extrapolated to all ages of kid: 3 year old keeps running into the street. you don't calmly explain that he is gonna get dead that way, you don't scream at him - he won't understand.. You BEAT HIS BOTTOM RED and say NO! DON'T DO THAT!.