Ironhead Crusty Curmudgeon’s Sportster Dictionary

[Moon Wolf]

A few Excerpts from Crusty Curmudgeon’s Sportster Dictionary

(Don’t blame the messenger)

Moonwolf’s note: After spending much of the morning perusing my dog-eared copy of Crusty’s venerable tome, I thought I’d share a few of his relevant definitions.


Peanut Tank: A Sportster tank is not a peanut tank nor shall it ever be. Why? Because it is NOT shaped like a peanut. A peanut tank (now referred to by some as a “Wassell Peanut”) is, in fact, shaped like a peanut, hence the name.

Etymology: This lexographer believes that some moron began referring to the original Sportster tank as a “peanut” tank when the larger, so called “King” tank came out. It is also probably at this point, or shortly thereafter, that the original and true peanut tank began to be referred to as a “Wassell Peanut” (And, yes, the panel is aware that the Sportster tank had its origins on earlier bikes, but it is still a “Sportster” tank). By this same logic, we should now refer to the 883 as a “Peanut Sportster” because it is smaller than the 1200.

Restoration: A “restoration” is a bike that has been “restored” to factory original. It is not a bike that has been put back together, had the engine rebuilt, the frame repainted, or a bike that has been festooned with aftermarket parts. This is not to suggest that any of these activities are bad and should not be pursued; it is only to say that these bikes are not “restorations” and never will be.

Shovelhead: A Sportster is not a Shovelhead, neither is it a dog, a cat, or a cheesecake. Persons who call early Sportsters “Shovelhead Sportsters” because the rocker boxes somewhat resemble those of a 1966-1983 big twin should henceforth be required to call their offspring “monkey boys” (or “monkey girls”) because of their resemblance to their anthropoid cousins of that name.

XLCH: Although the motor company continued to use this designation to denote kick-start Sportsters essentially identical to their push-button brethren well into the 70s and perhaps beyond, the panel feels that all meaningful distinction is lost after 1969, when the factory removed the magneto, homogenized the gear box, and adopted the electric start frame.

[66xlch]

+100! Nothing irks me more than the peanuts tank thing and the "Sholvelhead sportster" thing!

[GA_Ironhead]

Good stuff Moon Wolf. What exactly is Crusty Curmudgeon’s Sportster Dictionary? Google knows nothing about it.

While we're on definitions, the following came up in my pursuit of Crusty Curmudgeon’s Sportster Dictionary. I give the writer extra points for slipping in the word wanker... http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...term=sportster

[Moon Wolf]

Originally Posted by GA_Ironhead

Good stuff Moon Wolf. What exactly is Crusty Curmudgeon’s Sportster Dictionary? Google knows nothing about it.

While we're on definitions, the following came up in my pursuit of Crusty Curmudgeon’s Sportster Dictionary. I give the writer extra points for slipping in the word wanker... http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...term=sportster

Last I heard, Crusty was living under a giant toadstool in British Columbia, coming out only on those rare Thursday afternoons when it isn't raining to spew bile at the mountain beavers and lance his pustules.

[GA_Ironhead]

Sorry I asked...

[RRB]

I've never had a problem with the term "peanut tank". If I recall correctly, it was being used as far back as the sixties. "Peanut" refers to size relative to other, larger HD tanks. It has nothing to do with shape. Anyone that knows anything about Sportster lineage will instantly know what is meant when someone says "Peanut tank".

I think that the term "oil bag" is a lot sillier than "peanut tank". If you used the "oil bag" type of descriptor to define the gas tank, you would have to call the gas tank a "gas bag". That could lead to confusion as to whether the user of the term "gas bag" was describing the gas tank, the rider, or the rider's wife/old lady.

In a limited way, even the term "Shovelhead Sportster" has utility. It does nothing to identify a bike, but identifies the user of the term as someone that doesn't know what they are talking about.

[the cowboy way]

OIL BAG IS T. V. r.u.b. talk!

[Moon Wolf]

Originally Posted by RRB

I've never had a problem with the term "peanut tank". If I recall correctly, it was being used as far back as the sixties. "Peanut" refers to size relative to other, larger HD tanks. It has nothing to do with shape. Anyone that knows anything about Sportster lineage will instantly know what is meant when someone says "Peanut tank".

I'm with Crusty on this one. I had a bike shop from 71 to 74, and during that time I never once heard anyone refer to a Sportster tank as a "peanut" tank. A peanut tank was a peanut tank and a Sportster tank was a Sportster tank (and all my 60s and 70s chopper magazines seem to bear this out). It does seems more than a coincidence that it is in fact shaped like a peanut, but even if it is simply denotes size, it doesn't make a Sportster tank a peanut tank, at least not in my book.

Incidentally, the first "peanut" tanks I remember were of two types, the so-called Wassell Peanut and the ones taken from Whizzers.

[66xlch]

People tend to call any 2-3 gallon tank a peanut, so it's not very descriptive, anymore. A sportster tank is obviously what it is (despite their being many versions of actual sportster tanks).

Another one not yet mentioned is the fact that nearly everyone likes to "adjust" the displacement of their bikes, particularly when selling them! I so often hear people claim "it's been bored out to 1200" or something similar. We all know how rare it is to have a sportster big bored, hell even stroking them is rare! 1200 would require 3.5" bore, and the ONLY iron sportster I've seen like that is FDNY's! This exaggeration is way less common on most other Harleys. Is it because they have a napoleonic complex about thier 900, 1000 cc bikes?

[RRB]

My memory could be faulty, Moon, but I do recall hearing the term "peanut tank" for many, many years, and the people I interfaced with used it too, and we were all understood when we used the term. If I recall correctly (and perhaps I don't), it was used to describe the small sportster tank as well as other small tanks. Maybe it was a regional thing at the time, calling all small tanks "peanut tanks", like many of us referred to all soft drinks as "cokes".

You've piqued my curiosity, though. Next time I run into some of the older HD people around here I'm going to ask them about the term and how far back they recall hearing it used to describe the small Sportster tank. It is always possible that my long-term memory is faultier than I otherwise thought.