The Sportster and Buell Motorcycle Forum MOTOSPORT  

Go Back   The Sportster and Buell Motorcycle Forum > GENERAL AREA > Off-Topic/General Discussion > Jokes and Funnies
XLF Gallery XLF Classifieds XLF Blogs XLF Shout XLF Arcade XLF Disclaimer/Privacy Statement/Terms Of Use

Jokes and Funnies Post your jokes and funnie stuff here. Please keep it clean!

Members Birthdays
DaddyJay, sixshooter (67), cartoad2001 (65), Dirty Ernie (59), bri1200c (51), pquirk (48), GOTWA (45), gremlinsteve (45), lbowles2 (43), Guess (35), rnaway22es, landon283 (26)
Fix My Hog
Burly
Bison Motorsports
Biltwell

Lickscycles
Reply
 
Share Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 18th February 2010
Rascal's Avatar
Rascal Rascal is offline
XL FORUM TEAM MEMBER
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 3,339
Sportster/Buell Model: SXL883C
Sportster/Buell Year: 2002
Rascal has disabled reputation
Talking Spoon in Pocket

A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization.

Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve's Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.


It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.


Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?'


'Well, 'he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.


If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'


As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare.. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.' I was impressed.


I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.


Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'


'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom.


By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.

I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'

'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 18th February 2010
crazyred's Avatar
crazyred crazyred is offline
Flat Track Champion
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Badger , MN
Posts: 646
Sportster/Buell Model: 883 sportster
Sportster/Buell Year: 2001
Other Motorcycle Model: XS 650
Other Motorcycle Year: 1979
Reputation: 4115
crazyred is just really nicecrazyred is just really nicecrazyred is just really nicecrazyred is just really nicecrazyred is just really nicecrazyred is just really nicecrazyred is just really nicecrazyred is just really nicecrazyred is just really nicecrazyred is just really nicecrazyred is just really nice
Default

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! Now you know better the to drop your spoon!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 19th February 2010
merc merc is offline
Senior Master Custom Bike Builder
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: on a curvy NH road
Posts: 5,857
Sportster/Buell Model: Custom
Sportster/Buell Year: 05
Reputation: 94727
merc has much to be proud ofmerc has much to be proud ofmerc has much to be proud ofmerc has much to be proud ofmerc has much to be proud ofmerc has much to be proud ofmerc has much to be proud ofmerc has much to be proud ofmerc has much to be proud ofmerc has much to be proud ofmerc has much to be proud of
Default

If I drop my spoon I'll just pick up the bowl
__________________
Merc
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 19th February 2010
DEEP DIVER's Avatar
DEEP DIVER DEEP DIVER is offline
Senior Master Bike Builder
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: IN MY SHED IN SUFFOLK
Posts: 2,101
Sportster/Buell Model: XLH 1000
Sportster/Buell Year: 1984
Sportster/Buell Model #2: XL 1200
Sportster/Buell Year #2: 1993
Other Motorcycle Model: BMW R80ST
Other Motorcycle Year: 1984
Reputation: 221468
DEEP DIVER has a brilliant futureDEEP DIVER has a brilliant futureDEEP DIVER has a brilliant futureDEEP DIVER has a brilliant futureDEEP DIVER has a brilliant futureDEEP DIVER has a brilliant futureDEEP DIVER has a brilliant futureDEEP DIVER has a brilliant futureDEEP DIVER has a brilliant futureDEEP DIVER has a brilliant futureDEEP DIVER has a brilliant future
Default


Good one
__________________
RIDE SAFE

BARRY

RED BLACK AND CHROME
AND IT GETS ME HOME
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 19th February 2010
smackie's Avatar
smackie smackie is offline
Senior Chief Harley Engineer
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Texas hill country
Posts: 1,064
Sportster/Buell Model: Sportster XL1430R
Sportster/Buell Year: 2005
Sportster/Buell Model #2: Yammy-Ha wr250x
Sportster/Buell Year #2: 2010
Other Motorcycle Model: Kawi-socky KX450F
Other Motorcycle Year: 2009
Reputation: 29495
smackie is a name known to allsmackie is a name known to allsmackie is a name known to allsmackie is a name known to allsmackie is a name known to allsmackie is a name known to allsmackie is a name known to allsmackie is a name known to allsmackie is a name known to allsmackie is a name known to allsmackie is a name known to all
Default

awesome...
__________________
2005 XL1200R "The Road Runner"-NRHS Stage 3 heads 88 kit Mikuni 45 SE 575 RB 2-1 pipe tc88a w/custom map Hurricane 3" intake RB AFR Gauge Progressive Front/rear springs/shocks fork brace intiminators metzlers hurricane oil filter steel brake lines golan petcock badlander seat.... the "Death trap" custom is being built
Reply With Quote
Know Thy Hog

  #6  
Old 19th February 2010
sportsterdude.248's Avatar
sportsterdude.248 sportsterdude.248 is offline
XL FORUM TEAM MEMBER
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,164
Sportster/Buell Model: xl 883 (Kim's now)
Sportster/Buell Year: 97
Sportster/Buell Model #2: Street Glide
Sportster/Buell Year #2: 08
Other Motorcycle Model: FXDXT
Other Motorcycle Year: 02
Reputation: 280086
sportsterdude.248 has a reputation beyond reputesportsterdude.248 has a reputation beyond reputesportsterdude.248 has a reputation beyond reputesportsterdude.248 has a reputation beyond reputesportsterdude.248 has a reputation beyond reputesportsterdude.248 has a reputation beyond reputesportsterdude.248 has a reputation beyond reputesportsterdude.248 has a reputation beyond reputesportsterdude.248 has a reputation beyond reputesportsterdude.248 has a reputation beyond reputesportsterdude.248 has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Funny stuff Rascal.
__________________
When our memories exceed our dreams the end is near..
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 19th February 2010
Teehaml's Avatar
Teehaml Teehaml is offline
Senior Chief Know It All 3rd Class
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Southern New Jersey
Posts: 1,796
Sportster/Buell Model: XL1200C
Sportster/Buell Year: 2007
Reputation: 181124
Teehaml has a brilliant futureTeehaml has a brilliant futureTeehaml has a brilliant futureTeehaml has a brilliant futureTeehaml has a brilliant futureTeehaml has a brilliant futureTeehaml has a brilliant futureTeehaml has a brilliant futureTeehaml has a brilliant futureTeehaml has a brilliant futureTeehaml has a brilliant future
Default

Good one... I didn't even see it coming!!
__________________
Tom...
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 19th February 2010
Casper's Avatar
Casper Casper is offline
BT Heathen
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,887
Sportster/Buell Model: FLHTPI
Sportster/Buell Year: 2007
Blog Entries: 4
Reputation: 37770
Casper is a splendid one to beholdCasper is a splendid one to beholdCasper is a splendid one to beholdCasper is a splendid one to beholdCasper is a splendid one to beholdCasper is a splendid one to beholdCasper is a splendid one to beholdCasper is a splendid one to beholdCasper is a splendid one to beholdCasper is a splendid one to beholdCasper is a splendid one to behold
Default

Geez, and I thought dropping the soap was dangerous!
__________________


I need more Plan B's in my life. Plan A rarely works as advertised.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


Custom Search

All times are GMT +1. The time now is 22:59.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
XL Forum - Linson Media LLC