HOLY S&%T I'm SCARED!!!

[Boom-Boom]

Originally Posted by 99XL883C

Yes, the bike is paid for. I was actually working on the new tins today, hoping tomorrow I can get them on the bike and get pics to everyone. Anyways, I will do anything for my kids, but I feel like a real scumbag because I was the one to bring up to my wife that if this wasn't planned and IF we don't feel like this is the right time for us to bring a kid into this world, than there is something we could do about that...I'm talking about the big "A" and I don't mean grades. She said she really wants to go ahead with the pregnancy if she gets back that result from her doctor.

We've talked and she said she doesn't see resenting me for bringing up the idea of aborting. But I just feel that with our crazy schedules and my going back to school for my Masters, we may want to hold off on raising a family. But after thinking about all that now all day I'm not sure how I'd feel about myself when we are ready for kids and get pregnant on purpose. Am I going to resent myself then?

...uncertainty sucks right now, I just hope that I can make the right decision and not regret ANYTHING....

Thanks for all the replies and please keep them coming

-Mat

Hey Matt, I know 40+ year old men who feel like you do about their first child. None of us is truly ready for that first one. It always comes with a lot of doubt. When we had our last one, a complete surprise, my wife was 37. My response - "Oh wow, that is so cool!" We had a good laugh, much different from the first ones. The first ones were all adopted and I was a nervous wreck. The fact that you are wondering about resentment is kinda telling me you know what the right thing to do is. You were given a broad set of shoulders as were all of us and you're not really very young. Love your wife, love your child, start protecting it now. You'll NEVER resent that, man. That's your family started there. I know you can do it! That little one is one of the greatest things that can ever happen to a man. Enjoy it with your woman. If you need an ear in the future, PM me and I'll share my full story with you, it's a little to personal for an open forum. Congrats!!! Love it!

[pquirk]

Yep, it's never a GOOD time. If you wait for the perfect time, you'll be an old man wishing you had a family. Embrace it and enjoy the ride, we'll be here for advice and support if ya need it. Kids are a gas, congrats! Oh yeah, those home tests almost never give false positives...dad.

[95Deluxe883]

You're never ready. I started at 28 with 2 step kids (8&9) 20 years ago next month. I have 3 kids total now youngest is a high school senior. The former 8&9 year old have kids of their own now.
The one advice my dad ever gave me is never give up no matter what.

Best of Luck.

[CaptEvo]

It's one kid. How much time and money could they possibly take up. Throw it some table scraps....take it out for a walk once in awhile. You'll have plenty of time for the sporty. Of course I dont have children so I may not be up on all the newest fads.

[72Iron]

Originally Posted by 99XL883C

Yes, the bike is paid for. I was actually working on the new tins today, hoping tomorrow I can get them on the bike and get pics to everyone. Anyways, I will do anything for my kids, but I feel like a real scumbag because I was the one to bring up to my wife that if this wasn't planned and IF we don't feel like this is the right time for us to bring a kid into this world, than there is something we could do about that...I'm talking about the big "A" and I don't mean grades. She said she really wants to go ahead with the pregnancy if she gets back that result from her doctor.

We've talked and she said she doesn't see resenting me for bringing up the idea of aborting. But I just feel that with our crazy schedules and my going back to school for my Masters, we may want to hold off on raising a family. But after thinking about all that now all day I'm not sure how I'd feel about myself when we are ready for kids and get pregnant on purpose. Am I going to resent myself then?

...uncertainty sucks right now, I just hope that I can make the right decision and not regret ANYTHING....

Thanks for all the replies and please keep them coming

-Mat

Then the sporty can stay. One thing a kid will teach, is selflessness. Sure you are selfish, you were single with the world at your finger tips, you have a new bride, someone to share life with, and experience new thing, a little selfishness is chipped away then BAM your gonna be a dad. I would probably freak out also, well I did 18 years ago, and my youngest one is 15. I did alright, and you will too.

So the Sporty may have to wait, she will understand. A little at a time man, plus for your anniversaries buy something for the sporty, wrap it up all nice and pretty and give it to your wife....lol! I have buddy that used to buy his wife guns every year, then one year she learned how to shoot and spoiled his fun.

All will be OK.

[grumpy74]

Nut up. Make your wife and baby proud you ride a sportster, Dad.

[lostinafog]

you're 28....!!

omg, do you realize they wont outta college til you're 52... why did ya wait so long??!?


just rippin on ya... relax, there's nuthin to fix here... just roll with it.

[Pegscraper]

Your probably not going to believe this but your circumstances aren't bad at all. Your 28 and married. I was 21 and nowhere close to being engaged. Luckily the woman i knocked up just so happened to be the woman i wanted to marry anyway. But here is the deal, your never ready. Ever. I know people who have read books, planned the whole thing out, even practiced disipline techniques with their spouse before they were even pregant ( I really wish i was making that part up). When the baby came they realized 2 things, 1 the baby never read those books so they don't know how its supposed to work, 2 they wasted alot of time and money on books and displine techniques perfection time. But the good news is, it comes natural. If you give damn about being a good father
It won't be a problem at all. So take it easy, crack open a brew and relax on your own terms. When the baby is born your entire life will change. If your put honest effort into being a parent it will change drastically for the better. Good luck and Congrats.

[Bobo]

You will be fine and you will make the right choices. For me that meant I had to give up everything to make sure they had everything. I was forty before I had a muscle car again and my wife bought me the bike a couple of years later. It had been almost 20 years since I owned one. Yet, I would do it all over again the same way.

[ReddTigger]

I've been there and done that twice. IT's ok. you'll be ok and it's not as troublesome as you might imagine it to be. you can keep your sporty (if you can make a decent wage) and all with the world will be righted !